A Match Into Water (Fuenciado)

Chapter Sixteen

Tomorrow? What the fuck did he mean, tomorrow? No. That couldn't be right. They couldn't just ship Jaime off like that, could they?

"I'm sorry, Vic," Tony said sincerely, fidgeting with his hands. "You know he can't stay here, he doesn't have anyone left without his dad."

I did know that, I really did. But that didn't make the news any easier to hear. It was as if they were going to package up half of my heart and send it thousands of miles away- I didn't know if I'd be able to survive.

"But- but I'm here! You're here! He has people!" My mind desperately scrambled for some reason, any reason, that Jaime could stay.

Tony just shook his head, pursing his lips. "Think about what's best for him. He needs someone to look after him, and that's just not us."

I didn't know what to say. His words made sense, but my mind just wouldn't- couldn't- accept them. It didn't even seem real, didn't seem possible.

"I'm gonna go change now," I mumbled, turning to leave.

"You sure you're okay?" Tony asked, causing me to stop.

"Yeah," I said, my voice cracking at the end. I bit my lip, praying that he'd just let me leave before the burning in my eyes spilled down onto my face.

"Well, see you later then," he said finally, and I took the opportunity to quickly exit into the hallway.

There was only a one-person bathroom, which I anxiously turned the handle of. It was thankfully open, and I hastily stepped inside, pulling the door shut behind me. As soon as I made sure that it was locked, I dropped the bag that Mike had given to me onto the ground. Then I sank down onto the floor, my back against the door for support. I drew my knees in, putting my head in my hands.

My mouth started to tremble, and I drew in a sharp breath.

This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be happening.

Everything was falling apart. Everything. And there was nothing I could do about it. I hated being so helpless. I felt stuck, like I was wedged between two equally awful places. I could keep going on like this, pretending that things were going to stay the same. Forget reality for a little while longer and pretend that it was somehow possible for Jaime to stay. But the truth would just slap me in the face again tomorrow.

Or I could just accept it. Accept that the only thing that actually mattered to me was going to slip through my fingers. Accept that everything that had happened between us would be no more than a distant memory, something that eventually Jaime would probably forget. Forget me. Forget us. Forget all of it.

I groaned in frustration, swinging my arms away from my face. One of them smacked into the bag that Mike had given to me. I shoved it away towards the other side of the bathroom, watching it slide across the disgustingly dirty tiles.

Away. Everything was going away.

I was going stir-crazy in the cramped room, but I couldn't bring myself to go outside. To face Tony, maybe Mike. To see Jaime. I had this crazy idea that if I didn't leave, time would stop and Jaime's aunt would never arrive. Or maybe they'd realize that it was a mistake, and that he could actually stay.

Stupid, stupid me. God, I knew that I was grasping at nothing. It was impossible. Why couldn't I just get that through my thick skull?

I angrily pushed myself up to stand, shedding my sweatshirt and reaching to pull my shirt up over my head. I'd been wearing it for almost two days now, and it smelled like sweat and tears. I threw it on top of the bag, careful not to let it touch the floor. It didn't look like it had been cleaned in weeks. I glared at the reflection in the mirror that I happened to glance at, my thoughts immediately jumping to how awful I looked. I didn't even want to see it, to see that hideous person that I knew I was.