Till We Meet Again

7

I feel defeated. I have lost.

I let myself fall but no one was there to catch it.

I let my hopes high but no one was there to see it, to realize it.

I should've known.

I should've known that I should've never trust my feelings. Feelings are stupid. I should've not told him about it. I should've not said the last sentence.

Because after that, he tried harder to stay away from me.

It hurts so badly.

It took me two years to really forget about that night. That night, when my heart was at its worst. It took me hours to actually fell asleep, every night since then; when my new hobby every night is thinking about my mistakes, crying my eyes out over what happened.

And two years, lying to everyone saying "I'm okay".

His friends didn't know, so did mine. So we still hang out together as friends but he is rarely with us.

His friends said he was busy.

I spent my first year, finding him.
But I spent my second, avoiding him.

After two years that I took to recover, my heart sank when I heard he's being hospitalized.

After two years, the pieces of my heart that I am able to glue together breaks apart, again.

Just like a shattered glass shattering again.

I decided to visit him at the hospital.

I've been avoiding him but I can't really say that I hate him. I can't really say that I don't miss him.

Truth is, I miss him. I still miss him.

His parents smiles when they say me at the hospital but their eyes are red; that's what you get from crying too much.

And they told me the truth, finally.

They said he have a serious illness.

He was diagnosed with lung cancer two years ago.