Till We Meet Again

10

I spend my night by reading his story that he has written inside of the book.

It doesn't take me long to miss him again.

And that book, it tells me everything I need to know.

He told me all of his secrets, thoughts, and experiences. He told me all about him. Some are funny, some are not.

It feels like he was telling the story to me by himself. It feels like he was there with me. I never liked reading a book so much like I read his. I feel him by my side, telling me the story with his voice in my head, saying words by words. I never felt so alive after he was gone.

With 10 pages remaining, I get what I need to know.

In the book, he told me that he loves me too. He loved me all this time, before I even knew that I love him.

He loved me.

He always thought that I am like a light that shine his way. Like the sun that shine the earth. He was head over heels for me. But he never showed it.

That explains why he began to stammer sometimes.

But he's the reason why I get butterflies in my stomach too. So I guess that's fair.

He's scared to say those three words that contain eight letters since he found out that he had a serious illness to cope with.

He's scared when I told him I love him.

He scared that he will leave me alone one day, knowing that I am heartbroken at the thought of him leaving me. He's scared thinking of it every night, thinking how much I wish for him to get better and blame it on the fate and time.

Because he knows he won't survive. He never will. But he stays strong because of me.

He didn't want me to wish for my death. He wants me to live. He wants me to never give up at what I want.

I truly am sorry, James.
Because I did wish I was dead. I wish the angel of death would take me instead of him.

I wished.

But knowing that he doesn't want me to give up makes me change my mind.

I will live. I will live for him.

Till we meet again, James McMillan.

We will.

Always yours,
Violet.