The Heart Break Vacation

Oliver

"Mom how did you know" "I got a call" "and you didn't think to tell anyone... or explain that to Lotte?" I asked, upset with her "well I felt it didn't matter... you know she could really use some cheering up... if your going to ask her now would be the time" "that's not why you get engaged, mom" "sure it is... my cat had just died when your father proposed" "that's a cat" "so?" "You can get another one.., you can't really get another human" "you could make one" she sipped on her wine, I couldn't take it anymore "we broke up" "this is an awful time to..." "we broke up about 4 weeks ago" "so why are you here together?" "We figure we might as well have one last show... and I asked her to come" "who..." "I broke up with her" "why would you do such an idiotic thing?" "Because...." all the thoughts raced through my head "I love her... but I don't want to make a mistake, and proposing is not the right idea... and I never was... at least not now... I love Lotte, but I'm so scared"

"Lotte" I whispered walking into the room, that was only lit by a small desk lamp "Lotte" I whispered a little louder, walking towards her, she rolled over, and I saw the tears pouring down her face, and I couldn't help myself. I climbed onto the bed, and wrapped my arms around her, holding her as she cried into my shoulder. "She's dead... the one person in my family I really connected with... is dead" sobbing into my shoulder, I held her closer and closer

"Oliver I can't do this half baked scheme anymore" "I told my mom we broke up" "why now?" "She wanted me to propose" "what explanation did you give her?" Her words were desperate, but I couldn't give an answer "god damn it Oliver!" "Fine! It's because I love you, but we're young, and I'm scared, I don't want a serious relationship, I want to get through college and do what I want... not what my parents want" "and what's that?" "I don't know... anything but the family business" she started laughing through her tears "Charlotte are you ok?" "You mean you don't want to sit in a pretty little office, and have to come at your father's beckoning... who on earth would ever give that up?" "I thought that's what you wanted me to do" she sat up more shaking her head "I knew you would be miserable, but how do you tell someone that what they've been trained for their entire life will end up killing them?" "So what do you want?" I asked her, she wiped away some tears, throwing tissues in the trash can before looking at me, just really looking "I want to sail around the world, photographing anything, but society events and weddings... god I can't stand town and country, I want to live... like truly go out and live" in that moment it hit me, why I had broken up with her, the real reason.

"Charlotte, I've figured out my answer" she stopped packing her suitcase up and stared at me "about why you..." "yes" "tell me" her lips were quivering "are you sure..." "Oliver I will be more of a nervous wreck if you don't just fucking tell me why we broke up, I need some definite answer in my life right now" she stood there in the middle of the room shaking, but I couldn't stall any longer "I did it because I love you, so much" "how does loving me correlate to us breaking up?" "Just listen, please" she shut her mouth, and just stood there, like she was waiting to be executed "never once have you told me exactly what you want to do, but then you say you want to sail around the world, we've been together so long, it seems like we haven't done anything by ourselves...you need to take that trip, to find yourself, the real you, not us... it kills me, absolutely kills me, but if I was to propose, I know you would say yes, and I know we could have a happy little ending with a white picket fence and a large amount in the bank, but that's what our parents want for us, not what we want, what we need. Because if we got married, there would always be that what if thought in the back of our heads, the thought that maybe there was someone else, maybe there was somewhere else we should of been... we have to go and experience life by ourselves for a while" she stood there silently, staring at the floor

"what happens when we've experienced life and feel as though it's incomplete without one another" I met her eyes that were barely holding in all the tears "when the time comes, we can deal with it... this isn't a goodbye forever Lotte, You'll always be my first love" I tried so hard not to cry with her, but I didn't want her last memory of me to be some asshole who showed no emotion. She suddenly stopped crying and looked up at me, she shoved her last thing into her suitcase. "So this is what those life altering moments feel like... god it kills" she was holding in tears I could tell "can we just make this quick?" She asked gulping, I nodded, and we kissed for the very last time "you never think that your last kiss is actually your last" I muttered as we pulled away, she grabbed her suitcase and walked towards the door "Oliver I love you... and I hope you figure out whatever the hell you want to do, because your going to do great things, I just know it" "so will you..." and then she was gone, out of my life.