Start / Stop

Fading out

FICTION. FICTION. FICTION.

***

It was beautiful sunny day. The coffee shop was bright and filled with conversation of lunch goers. Two people were seated in a small table across each other, quieter than most couples. Everything was the opposite : dark, grey, monotone. Feeling of half dread and relief - their now.

"Here are your keys." Maine reached out from her purse. "I think you left a spare copy in my car. I can have it sent to your office, if you'd like. I had to take an Uber here, so I don't have it with me." Her eyes downcast, she stared at the table. "Sorry." She whispered.

RJ looked at the keys as if it were offending him. Those keys once held the promise of the future, of tomorrows together. It's not happening any more. "I'm not in any rush, but thanks." His voice was cold, his face stoic.

Maine looked up to RJ and her heart broke into pieces knowing that she was the reason why he looked gaunt. His eyes were red rimmed and he had bags under his eyes. He had a 3 day old stubble. "I'm sorry, RJ." She whispered. "I wish you can give me a chance to explain..."

RJ laughed sarcastically. "And what will you tell me? That you fell out of love with me?" . He leaned close and spoke sharply. His voice low and almost inaudible. "Bullshit, Maine. Tell me why you are breaking up with me. Tell me."

Maine closed her eyes. "You would not even understand, with your rage right now..."

"Then make me understand!" RJ slammed his palm on the table, loud enough to startle the neighboring tables. Normally, RJ would have been embarrassed and apologetic already.

"I can't be with you. And yes, I have fallen out of love with you. We never see each other anymore. This ....this thing that we have, it's falling apart. We're falling apart." Maine spat out.

"And that's the answer? To break up?" RJ was fuming. He was trying to keep his voice low yet he was giving such angry energy that one would think he would explode.

"Yes." Maine looked at him squarely in the eyes. "Yes, RJ, because I am no longer happy. You tried, I tried, but it's not working."

"But Maine, why...."RJ shifted into begging mode. "Why can't we just... take a break?"

"Because I am leaving." Maine proclaimed. "I am leaving for the US. I need to be away. I am drowning and I can't even save myself, and for that reason I have to go." She gathered her phone and purse as she got up. "All I wanted today is to give you your house keys, and I guess I will send whatever else I find by a courier."

"That's it?" RJ bitterly asked. "Four years of being together and this is the send off you give me?"

"It's for the best. You'll see. It's for the best." Maine's voice cracked. She wanted to touch him one last time but she knew it would send them both into a spiral. She walked as fast as she could and only looked back when she stepped out of the coffee shop. RJ was staring into nothingness and he looked like he was going to break down into tears.

Maine hurriedly turned into a corner and got into the waiting car. As soon as she got in, the driver spoke. "Did you tell him?"  She broke down into hysterical sobs as the car moved. Maine turned to Anna, her bestfriend since childhood. "I told him the half truth."

"Which is?" Anna inquired.

"That we don't even see each other anymore, that I was unhappy and that it was for the best. that we ended it and that I was leaving." Maine looked out at the window. The sun seemed to be mocking her : it was happy and full of light.

"But did you say why ?" Anna gently asked, pulling into the parking lot.

"No."

Anna handed her a piece of paper. "This came for you by the way.  I opened it since I know you were expecting documents."

Maine unfolded the paper.  The words terminal brain tumor, approval, death with dignity act, all jumped into Maine's periphery. She folded the paper and leaned back.

"I'm so tired, Anna." Maine closed her eyes. "But we should go to the airport before RJ starts getting nosy. The family is waiting for me in Portland. How long do we have ?"

"We have 3 hours till our flight." Anna said. "We're just crossing the lot, Maine and we should be getting into the boarding area right away."

"Then we should go."

Maine stood up and grabbed a set of keys from her compartment. Anna looked at her questioningly. "I told him I had it. But I didn't want to give it back. Will you send it to him, after...after I'm gone?"

Anna looked at Maine, trying her best to be calm. "Of course."

Maine looked up at the sky. "Forgive me, RJ" , she whispered. And started walking towards her end.

FIN

A/N:

Sorry.

Oregon is one of 5 States in the US that has Death With Dignity laws,  also known as physician-assisted dying / assisted suicide.  It's controversial yet interesting (to me at least). Portland is one if its cities and I love it! I hope to come back and visit longer!

More info on Death with Dignity laws here :

https://www.deathwithdignity.org/learn/death-with-dignity-acts/

http://public.health.oregon.gov/ProviderPartnerResources/EvaluationResearch/DeathwithDignityAct/Pages/index.aspx

pic credit :  sodi pop @tumblr via google images