The story of a Lonesome ol'Jerome

41- Dickface

*Shauna's POV*

OMG! That woman, Gwyn, had slept with Andy Biersack! OMG! And he was searching for her on Twitter! Holy shit! OMG! That's so romantic! I had to call Dave! I frantically dialed...

Dave: "Hel-hello? Shaun, it's fucking 9 am. What?" I had clearly woken him up.

Shauna: "Omigod Dave you know that old lady we met last night well she fucked Andy Biersack and they got in a fight and he's heartbroken and he's looking for her and we have to help Dave we have to help!"

Dave: There was a pause. "What? What the fuck are you talking about? Gwyn the veterinarian? What?" Omigod Dave was so fucking slow!

Shauna: "Da-ave!" I made an effort to go slowly, I guessed I really had woken him up. "Gwyn hooked up with Andy Biersack, you know, the singer?"

Dave: "Yeah, I fucking know who Andy Biersack is, Shaun, but that seems highly fucking unlikely... how the fuck would you even know that?" Gahhh! So slow! Wasn't he listening?!?

Shauna: "Dave, go get your phone. Right now. Go to Andy's Twitter page. Call me back when you're done."

I hung up. Eight minutes later, my phone rang.

Shauna: "Hello, dickface."

Dave: "I'm sorry, Shauna, I mean, it's kind of, uh, weird, you know?"

Shauna: "Whatever, I'm over it. We have to help Andy. So, ideas?" Again, there was a ridiculously long pause.

Dave: "I don't have any, Shaun. We don't know anything about Gwyn, do we?" I thought back to last night, determined...

Shauna: "Wait! She said that she has a black Toyota Prius. Right?"

Dave: "Yeah, and I think she mentioned that she went to Oberlin for college, right? I guess the only question is how you actually tell that to Andy."

Shauna: I was unfazed. "I dunno. I'll just try to message him. Hopefully he'll get it. I don't know if it will help or not, but it's something. Ok, go back to bed, Dave. Thanks for helping. Kiss-kiss!"

Dave: "Um, right, Shaun. Kiss-fucking-kiss." Brat.