Dreams Do Come True

Letting go

Saturday 3.30 P.M.

I'm completely soaked, but I don't care. I've been walking for more than 3 hours and I've finally reached the bridge I've had my eyes on the entire time. I walk it and stop in the middle. I crawl over the railing and hold on to it with my back facing towards it. I look down at the river beneath me. It's going crazy because of the rain. The clouds are grey and I hear thunder. Everything is dark and foggy and cars are passing by behind me. My thoughts are going crazy.
I am actually doing this? No one will miss me. There'll be no more Clara. No more Gavin. No more parents. No more me. I doubt anyone will notice. 

I start crying. My tears disappear between the raindrops hitting my face.
I think about how my mom hit me. About how my dad hates me. About how I was never wanted. I was a mistake. An accident. I've always lived in my brother and sister's shadow. They've always been smarter and better looking than me.
I think about Michael. How he never noticed me, and never will. What was I thinking? A guy like him would never want a relationship with a girl like me.
I think about Clara. She's telling everyone SHE is the victim. I think about how she pulled my hair a thousand times, pushed me over a million times and humiliated me a billion times. And it's not just her. Everyone thinks it's funny to mess with me. I see Gavin's face in front of me. I remember laying on the floor after he pushed me. He bend over and screamed in my face:' The world was a better place when you weren't around, dickface!' Then he spit in my face and kicked me around like I was a football. The world was a better place when I wasn't around. Maybe it's time to go back to that time then. Everyone was happier. Clara, Gavin, my parents, my siblings,... Maybe I was never mend to be here. Maybe I was mend to be somewhere else. Away from everyone I'm bothering right now. Maybe my crazy dream was never mend to come true. It was just a dream. An illusion of my imagination. A stupid idea. Becoming a youtuber if I can't even speak in front of a class. In front of Clara and Gavin. I see their faces in front of me. They're laughing at me. Calling me dickface, midget, loser... Making fun of my mom's drinking problem. Wishing that I would die. Maybe they're right. Maybe I should. 
I wake up from my thoughts and realize that I'm crying very loud, but no one hears me. The cars behind me and the thunder make more noise than me. I look down at the water and hope that it'll bring me to a better place. Everything is better than this hell. I slowly let my hand slip of the railing behind me. 
Finger by finger, I get closer to a happier place. A happier world. I still can't feel the difference between my tears and the raindrops. 
I hear thunder as my last fingers let go of everything I ever knew. My thoughts are gone. All the noises turn off and everything turns black. I want to make the world a better place again, without me.