Pain, Suffering, and Numb

Happiness

Her head rises and falls with each breath I take, and perhaps it's fitting considering the fact that without her I might never have taken those breaths. Her long, dirty blonde hair is pulled back in a simple braid, and I'm eternally grateful. It allows me an uninterrupted view of her beautiful face, which I have grown to so adore. I feel I am unworthy of having this beauty at such close hand, and to have it all to myself is incomprehensible. Her lips draw my eyes and I remember the feeling of pressing mine against them. The way that it felt as though the world had finally fixed itself, and that nothing could possibly go wrong as long as the kiss endured. Only one thing stops me from raising her head to mine so I can feel that again, and that is her peacefulness. No nightmares plague her sleep at this moment, and the calm that is on her face makes her all the more beautiful. I move my eyes upwards and see her closed eyes, and wonder what dreams lie behind them. Normally I could stare into them for hours, with their intelligent light captivating me, but her sleep hides that from my prying eyes. Sometimes those eyes darken without the aid of sleep as she combats the demons that plague her, that leave their bloody marks in jagged lines across her wrist. Whenever this occurs my eyes darken as well, for they cannot bear the sight of her pain. I wish, and nearly pray that I could take her demons away, even if it meant introducing them to those that dwell inside of my own hell. The very thought of this makes me hold her that much closer, in an attempt to drive the demons and monsters out of her, for she does not deserve this pain that I feel. She lies on her side, her small body pressed against mine. My heart grows warmer, and this is due to more than just our shared body heat. My arm is holding her close to me, and I feel like I'm finally at peace, and there is no war being waged within my own mind. As if in response to this peace, my mind is replaying the long nights and times we spent talking, and how those talks preserved the last vestiges of sanity left within me. How her words made me grin, and mine made her cheeks grow hot. My sight lowers even more, revealing her arm wrapped around my torso, the skin is hidden from me by a thick bandage, and my eyes fill with a mixture of pain, fear, anger, and sadness. The anger is due to the injustice of the very need of a bandage on her wrist, she is kind, she saved me when it seemed as though salvation was beyond my reach. I can't forget that, the feeling of hopelessness that I felt on dark night while I attempted to sleep, and the way she made that fade away. It was replaced by... something. I don't necessarily know, and I most definitely don't understand, but it is preferable to the numbness I felt before her entrance into my life.