Pain, Suffering, and Numb

Smile

I'm sitting with my arm around a girl with blond hair, and I couldn't be any happier. Hell, I can't remember a time when I was happier than I am in this moment. She looks beautiful today, scratch that, she looks perfect. She wears glasses over eyes so piercingly blue it's hard to look into them, but damn near impossible to look away. Below these eyes are a cute little nose, one that I will later kiss. Even further down are her lips, with two metal studs poking out from her skin beneath them. As I look at those lips I want to kiss them, so badly I almost try. Why do I hold myself back? Not because I fear the intimacy that comes with a kiss; I fear my own stupidity and its tendency to destroy the parts of my life that I consider good. She asks if I want to get up and walk around and I agree. I'll do nearly anything that this girl asks, and I don't fear this, or any mistreatment of my heart from her, I trust her with me. When we get up from the bench where we were sitting she attempts to walk with distance between us, "Get over here," I say as I pull her towards me. We continue walking around the mall with my arm around her waist. While we walk we talk of damn near everything and eventually I make her laugh hard enough that she snorts. My face breaks into a smile and I raise my arms in victory. After a while we make our thousandth trip through the area where we met I can't resist the urge to kiss her anymore and I pull her towards me, her lips meet mine and something changes inside of me. My heart is beating faster than I knew it could and the pain of the past is the furthest thing from my mind. I manage to get a second kiss before she makes me stop, and even then I do so with great regret. The two of us continue our walking, and there are a few more kisses, but my favorite part happens after that. We've found a place to sit while my mother finishes eating. While we sit there together she curls up next to me, and rests her head on me. For some reason this outshines all the kisses, and all the hugs, this moment is my favorite. Goddamn, I love her.