World Without Souls

Chapter 9: Ivory

Sleeping is my only escape.
When I'm sleeping, I'm oblivious to everything going around me as I succumb into the darkness of my mind. Usually I have nightmares, but lately I haven't been having dreams at all, which is better. I used to force myself to stay awake until I passed out, scared of what I would see once I closed my eyes. Now I've seen and felt things beyond imaginable, now I know there are worse things out there than my subconscious.
When I'm sleeping I don't feel the heartbreak, wound tightly around me like a caterpillar in it's cocoon. It's always been there, I've never ever really had much of a heart yet I love freely. Yet what's left to give when you have nothing left? Now I feel pain, pain beyond imagining... but I feel empty, too.
Yet since I was a child, I've had a fear of sleeping. I would stay awake until I passed out, for my mind scares me. When I'm asleep I have no control over what my brain decides to show me. I am haunted by the images that are formed inside my very own head... and I can never get rid of them. Sometimes they are simply people that have left their mark on my soul, a worrisome scar, red paint on a white canvas. Other times it is monsters and demons that threaten to hurt me, yet scare me more when all they do is simply watch me. Because there is nothing they can do to me that will make me any worse. Perhaps I am not afraid of sleeping, but of my own mind, because even I can't deny the simple truth of my own thoughts.
My eyes flutter down to the gaping wound on my leg. My dear friends have done what they could to help, but it is of no use. The wound is infected, I know infection when I see it. Ha. How ironic, 'Infected'. Everything is infected in this present time.

"Ivory? Are you awake?" A voice asks from somewhere in the abyss. Gradually, my eyes open and adjust to the night sky.
"Yes?" I ask groggily, my voice cracking. Kara leans in front of me, her face stretched into an expression of worry. In the background, I can just make out Trent's sleeping form and Kevin putting wood on the fire.
I move over as Kara wiggles to sit beside me, and she rests her head on my shoulder. We stay like that for a while, I don't know how long. Long enough to watch the sun slowly rise and feel the earth awaken with dawn. Long enough that I soon hear Kara's breath slow as she lulls herself into sleep's awaiting arms.
Kevin's fallen asleep too, a little too close to the fire. His mouth lays open in an oval shape and I have to try hard not to laugh.
Eventually Trent wakes up.
"Hey, sleepy." I greet him, cursing my croaky voice.
"Hey," he yawns. Looking over to Kevin, he stifles a laugh. "How's the leg?"
"Sore, but I can deal with it." I lie. "You should probably put water over the fire ashes, so it doesn't burn the street down." The fire burned out long ago, when everyone fell asleep. Now it is simply a pile of warm, black coals.
"Kay," Trent rubs his eyes and sets out for some water before dumping it on the coals. So much water it becomes a puddle. "You can never be too careful." Trent adds when he sees me inspecting the puddle. I break out into laughter, and it feels so nice to feel a little lightness in my chest.
"Hmm?" Kara moans as she slowly opens her eyes, awakened by my laughing.
"Morning, Kara." I greet. Kara slowly stands up and looks around. Slowly, she stands up and stretches out her back, sore from a long, eventful night. She glances over at Kevin and suddenly her eyes light up with remembrance, and she shakes him awake.
"Let me sleep.." Kevin mutters, closing his eyes.
"The picture! I need the picture, Kevin." Kara whispers urgently to him. Kevin reaches into his pocket and pulls out a stained picture, although I cannot see what it is. Kevin then rolls over onto his side, his back towards us. In the distance Trent goes through the supplies. He hums an unknown tune while he sorts through our gathered things. Kara walks over to me and kneels in front of me, in her left hand she holds the picture. She reaches out and touches my shoulder lightly with her right hand.
"Ivory..." She starts, then stops, not knowing what to say.
"What is it?" I ask, suddenly afraid.
"Ivory, have you done anything, anything at all, that might cause some people to want to-... that might make some people dislike you?" Kara asks timidly.
"Uh.." I trail off, unable to put my words into a sentence. Kara purposely opens my hand and places the picture in it, closing my fingers around it with hers. Slowly yet carefully, I look at the picture. Instantly I know who it is. The words at the bottom seem to leap out at me; destroy them. I close my eyes and listen to Trent's somehow calming humming. I don't want to open my eyes, I don't want to see the message at the bottom, I don't want this to be my reality. After quite some time Kara breaks the silence.
"Who is it?" Kara bursts out, unable to contain her curiosity one second longer.
"Her name is Cherry." I explain, completely monotone. "I grew up with her."
"Why do they want you and her... destroyed?" Kara whispers.
"I don't even know how they got that picture of her." I exclaim, exasperated.
"What do you mean..?" Kara counters, surprised. I don't reply, I simply close my eyes again. I just want to close out the world, and I want this fucking bullet wound to disappear because I can't walk.
"Ivory! We can't just ignore this!" Kara shouts getting frustrated. I open one eye, and see her face is full of concern, not anger. Sighing heavily, I completely open my eyes and reply.
"Fine. Although I don't want to have to answer this twice, so you better get the other boys." I say decisively. "Especially Trent." I add. Kara watches me, confused. Eventually, she calls out to the boys.
"Kevin, Trent, come over here!" Kara shouts urgently. Trent stops humming and the calming feeling that filled me a moment ago vanishes. The boys saunter over to us and sit down, so that we're in a circle. All eyes are on me. All is silent, them waiting for me to talk and me grasping for words, until Trent's eyes dart to the picture and he snatches it out of my hand.

"I know her!" Trent booms. "She helped me the night Ivory was shot! She helped me through the broken window!" Trent glances at the picture again, now noticing her companion in the photograph. He pauses slightly before shaking Ivory's shoulders violently. "Who is she? How do you know her? Tell me, tell me please!" He gasps, his face lite up.
"Well if you will let me speak, I will tell you!" I fume. Trent stops and leans back so he is once again sitting, trying to contain his impatience and excitement.
"Go on.." Kevin prods.
"Her name is Cherry." I inform. "We sort of grew up together, but not in the way you would expect.. we didn't meet on the first day of primary school and she wasn't my mum's friend's daughter. I kind of created her." Their eyes are locked on me, swallowing my every world like a starving child.
"What do you mean, Ivory..?" Kevin edges, clearly confused.
"She was my invisible friend. Is. Is my invisible friend. But she was always real to me.." I explain. Yet they still hold the same expression of denial and indifference, and a little bit of 'she's crazy'. Sighing, I take out my phone which I had been hiding in my dress pocket, which is what I always did when I went to school. I scroll through my camera roll until I find a video, I click play and watch as their eyes widen with horror and amazement.
In the video, I stand there with my hair down, wearing a t shirt and shorts. I laugh and talk to the person next to me, although there is no one there.
"Tell the camera what you just told me, Cherry." I laugh in the video. My head is turned towards the empty space and I hold the obvious expression of someone listening, with a smile growing on my face. Suddenly I burst out laughing I put an arm around the empty space beside me. My arm takes the shape of an arm on a shoulder, the exact shape, my arm seemingly resting on nothingness. The fabric of my shirt creases from invisible fingers tickling me and I laugh harder.
The video stops, and my friends stare at me with mouthes agape.
"But.. I saw her!" Trent exclaims after some time has passed.
"I made her be visible to you. I don't know how, I just...did." I sigh.
"Wait, so you can make her come to you? Make her come, now!!" Trent shouts excitedly with hope built up in his eyes.
"No, she's her own person. I don't control her, just as much as she can't control me." I explain steadily and watch as the hope dies away in his eyes.
"Oh." Is all he simply says, trying to appear emotionless.
"Don't you guys think that's weird, though?" Kara questions shrilly. "I mean, how can she do this?" I simply smile and shrug, the smile doesn't reach my eyes.
Suddenly, a loud boom sounds through the sky and the ground slightly quakes.
"We have to go!" Kevin half shouts. I look at them in fear, and try to stand up. Excruciating pain fills all my senses shoots up my leg and fills my whole body, I can't help but scream at the torment.
"Go without me!" I say, trying to keep my voice calm. Silently I wave my gun and stare at the waiting abyss in front of me, the empty streets that won't be empty soon.
"No!" Kara cries. The sound of running feet, at first faint but growing in volume, surrounds us. Without speaking, Kara kneels down backwards in front of me.
"Get on!" I don't question it, I simply do as she commands. Soon we're running away and noise the running feet slowly vanishes. At school, I would occasionally do this with Kara and we'd only last a few minutes at most. Yet now she is filled with a sudden energy, determination rests on her brow.
We keep running until we collapse from exhaustion and the sound of running feet is no longer there.