Adversity in Everything

sia

it hurts when a promise is broken and your love was wasted upon a person who doesn't even appreciate it.

to my beloved sunshine, my rose, i promised you a lot. i promised to love you forever and that i only want you. i do mean to keep that promise but something changed my mind. i noticed that i keep on hurting you. i gave you so much pain.

"you promised *sobs* that you'll love me forever and only want me."

i couldn't forget every word you said. and it fucking pains me to see you cry like that. to cry over me.

"your such a liar. you led me on. you fucking idiot."

yes, sia. i am a liar. but most of all, i am a fucking idiot.

"your a fucking idiot. but your my idiot. i love you. i will always love you."

but my dear sunshine, your love's toxic. it's too much. it's suffocating.

"i never meant to love you this much. but you have the guts to just... fucking promise me that stupid kind of a promise."

i love you too, sia. always have. always will. but i'm tired. i need to let you go. i want you to be happy without me.

"i am happy, stupid. i'm happy because of you. i've made you my happiness. and that's where i went wrong. such a sweet and shitty of a mistake."

i know, my dear rose. and i'm sorry. i'm sorry for everything. i'm such a stupid idiot for doing this to you, but i have to. i have to, sia. i wanna find myself without you. i wanna be carefree and live my life for a short while not caring. not worrying. just... living.

"then go. fucking go. but i want you to never forget me. never forget the pain you've caused. never forget my love. remember everything."

sia. my sia, i'm really sorry. i hate myself for doing this to you. i'm really sorry. i won't ever forget you.

"i doubt it. but i love you. this is the last time i'd say it. i love you. always."

goodbye sia. i love you too. always.

"and thank you."

sia. you were my everything. but i have to go. i'm sorry. goodbye, sia.

"goodbye, emmanuel."