Adversity in Everything

fingers crossed

- unedited -

we cross our fingers wishing
it'll help make something come true.
we do this often. like little kids crossing
their fingers to have a cookie.

she was cute and full of beauty.
the first time i laid my eyes on her,
i knew right then that i love her.
i wanted her. i've had my fingers
crossed just to get her. i'm not that
type of guy who would just approach
her and say "hey, what's up? wanna hang out?"
no, i'm not like that. it took me a month just to
show her that. i made it clear that i would never
do such disgusting things to her and would
never hurt her. so i finally asked her if she
would like to go out with me. she said yes
and i was out of the stars happy and
excited. it made me giddy that finally,
the girl i love and want would actually
go out with me. i picked her up at 8 in
the evening. she wore a cute frilly black
dress with white laces. it actually made her
stood out more and made her even more cuter.
i planned everything before i even asked her out.
it was perfect and nice. i took her to an arcade place,
she likes playing video games and is really good at it.
she beats me every time in every game we play
and i love her. the road was dark and slippery since
it was raining hard. the car had a slight turbulence
which we slipped and was about to crash in a tree.
brave as she is, she protected me from the anguish
instead of me protecting her. i woke up seeing blood
around me, her blood. with a headache so agonizing it hurts
so much. i turned her over and see that she's unconscious and
has most of the injuries. she slowly gained consciousness and lifted
a hand to touch my right cheek. in a slow and harsh voice, she said
"i'd rather die than loosing you." hearing that, i cried and held
her hand tight, afraid of loosing her too. "i love you, josh" and
with that, her hand went limp and cold. she's gone, she died
saving me. she said she loved me. no, she couldn't be gone.
"shain, wake up, wake up, shain, wake up!" i screamed.
but she's gone, i held her tight, hugging her. i stayed that
way until help arrived. i didn't wanna let go of her but they had
to but i didn't want to. as they were recovering me, and pulling her away
from me, i held her hand as tight as i could until they made me let go.
she's gone now, the girl i've been crossing my fingers for.. the girl
i loved...