Change me

Chapter 4

Hailey's POV

The same thing happens every day over and over again and I'm just so tired of everything and everyone including myself. I really don't know why I behave like I do but it feels good, maybe because I'm a cold person, I really don't have an  answer to that question. I literally called a girl bitch just because she happened to touch me and now she looks really scared but I don't give a shit so I push her hard and she hits the locker. Everyone around us is staring, like they normally do. In my head I just want to hit her more but I don't really have a motive to do that so I take a deep breath and walk to the bathroom. I hear voices behind me saying that I am psycho and that I can't control my anger. YES it's true I can't control my anger but do any of you know why?

I lock myself in the bathroom that me and Dylan used to hooked up in before class started. He was always so gentle and took care of me, he did everything to make me happy. Everywhere I go I think of him, of the times that we had, the bad times and the good times. Now I know that it isn't my fault that I behave like I do, It's Dylans fault, everything is his fault because he left me with all these memories.

My body starts shaking so I sit down on the toilet seat and place my head in my hands. I try not to have a flashback and the only way to achieve that is to go out from this bathroom and go home. I'm really not in the mood for school and I already know what my dad is gonna tell me "Honey I know that you don't want to go to school but you have to try , you have to get over him" and blablabla. I'm not in the mood to stay in bed all day either so I'm going to party today and drink so much that i won't remember anything tomorrow. That sounds like a perfect plan. I take my phone and call Evan my cousin, he is the best when it comes to throwing parties. I scroll through my contacts and I see Evans name and I call him "Hey, what's up? "Hey girl, just chilling. How are you?" I breath heavily before I answer "I'm fine. Anyways do you think you can throw a party today?" "I was waiting for you to call me and ask me that and yes of course I can do that. Where do you want it to be?" I think about it and then I answer "At Talia's, she has the best booze" "Well I guess she's in" Evan says "Duh, of course she's in, have you met Talia? That girl loves parties more than me and you together and we both know that's a lot." I laugh and Evan joins in "well I see you at 10pm then?" "Yeah see you then and oh remember to bring the cigarettes" "Don't worry I always have them in my pocket" I say and laugh again before hanging up.