Wild Side [h.s au]

Chapter 40

Elena

It took hours for Harry to completely calm down. He hasn't spoken since he said what I assume was his brother's name, shutting himself into his own private world, refusing to talk to me or even look at me. I managed to talk him into at least coming into my room, not wanting to leave him alone or let him having to face the memories of his brother in his flat.

I cleaned his bloodied hands and bandaged them carefully, getting absolutely no reaction from him. Every time I look at him, it feels as if someone has punched me in the gut. His usually bright green eyes seem dull and cold, bloodshot from crying, his lips dry as he stares at nothing in particular.

"Harry?" I ask gently as he sits on the edge of my bed, shoulders slumped and muscles unmoving. My hand comes up to brush his curls aside, my fingertips sliding from his eyebrow down to his jaw. "Would you lie down? Or maybe take a shower?"

I'm completely prepared for him to snap and shout at me, I know what to expect in these situations and I most certainly won't back down.  He needs help right now, despite being like this, I know he needs it. A solid minute passes without him saying anything and staring at nothing, all the while my fingers are soothingly running over his face.  He finally looks down at once, bending down to untie his trainers. I stand up and step away, giving him the space he needs.

"I'm going to shower, okay? I'll be with you soon," I tell him once he lies down, a cover over his body, eyelids closed as he breathes slowly and deeply. I observe him for some time and it appears he has fallen asleep, making me sigh in relief quietly. I feel nothing but sadness when I see him like this, broken and tormented, wishing I could do anything to take it all away.

I walk into the bathroom to take a shower and brush my teeth, not wanting for him to be alone for too long.  After I'm done, I return to the bedroom in nothing but a thin bathrobe, wanting to get dressed as quickly as possible and make sure he's still asleep and okay.  My eyes open wide and heart skips a beat when I see an empty space where Harry was lying, eyes frantically searching for him.

He's sitting with his back pressed against the wall, his knees pulled to his chest, hands clutching his head as he breathes heavily, shaking his head and mumbling something incoherent under his breath. I slightly panic seeing him like this, but at the same time I'm relieved he didn't leave, especially in a state like this where he is capable of not only injuring someone else, but himself.  I slowly and carefully approach him, crouching in front of him, my palm cautiously pressing on top of his knee, making him flinch.

His wild eyes look at me, no trace of recognition in them, making my heart rate quicker than normal, knowing what is about to happen, my chest working fast.  He jolts up suddenly as he stares at me with pure rage and hatred, making me stumble backwards as he takes a few threatening steps toward me.  I quickly scramble to my feet, taking a gulp, my eyes silently begging him to snap out of it. No, not this again.

"Harry, it's me," I say cautiously, but make no attempt to approach him because it might seem like an attack to him.

He abruptly lunges at me, tightly gripping my shoulders painfully and pushing me aside, making my body collide with the hard wall, jolts of pain immediately washing over me. I let out a quiet grunt, determined not to return any punches, believing he's going to snap out of it any second now. "Harry, please," I say louder, hoping it'll have an effect on him. "Don't do this."

But he doesn't react, seeing who knows what as he fists his hand, swinging it at me as I quickly bend and avoid the punch, wanting to move to the other side of the room. Unfortunately, his fingers painfully dig into my arm and pull me back toward him, twisting it at my back to disable me from moving. His other arm wraps around my neck in a headlock as he presses me into him, my back to his chest as he begins applying pressure on my windpipe, my free hand trying to loosen his grip.