Fantasy Or Reality?

Chapter 3

    I was distracted all day.  I couldn’t stop thinking about Nathan.  He was so different.  He’s so cheery on the outside even though I can tell he’s hurting on the inside.  How does he do it?  How does he hide his pain?  People just avoid me and hate me because I’m lonely, but he can be lonely and cheerful at the same time.  How? 
…

I walk out of the building away from the busses.  I look at my watch.  3:15.  I look up at the tree.  Nathan is there waving at me like he’s a child.  I half smile.  That’s kind of adorable actually...he’s so excited...to see...me.  I let that sink in.  Someone’s excited...to see me.  I make my way over to him and he’s grinning ear to ear.  “Hey!  I’m so excited!  Where do you want to go?”
I think.  “Somewhere not too crowded I think.  Or at least somewhere we can relax and not have to worry about others people.” 
“Hm...why don’t we go to the park?  We can sit under a tree by ourselves and talk!”
“Yeah...okay.”  I say as we walk to the park.  Once we start making our way into the park, he excitedly starts asking me questions.  When’s my birthday?  What’s my favorite color?  What’s my favorite flower?  And so on.  I answer these questions swiftly and for some reason people look at me weirdly.  I should be used to it, but what’s wrong with me now?  I get a little frustrated and shake my head.
“What’s wrong?”  He asks, obviously worried.
“Er-nothing...I’m fine.”  I shyly say.
“Are you sure?”  He asks me with huge brown eyes.
“Yeah...I’m fine now...thanks.” 
He smiles at me sweetly, and I can’t help but smile back.
“Here’s a great tree to sit under!  It’s so beautiful...like when you smile,”  He grins at me.  “I don’t like seeing you upset like earlier.  Let me know if something’s going on, okay?  You can trust me.”
I smile a little.  “Thanks...really.”  I look up at him and smile.
We talk for a while until I hear my phone ring.  It’s Mom.   “Oh no!  I forgot to tell my mom I was going out!”  I answer the phone nervously.  “Hey, Mom...I’m really sorry...I forgot to tell you I was going to the park tonight!  Um...no...just wanted to get out the house...I’m by myself.  Okay...bye...I’ll come home soon.  Love you...bye.”
Nathan is frowning at me.
“Why did you lie?”  He looks hurt.  “Why can’t you tell her you’re with me?”
I freeze and stammer.  “I-I’m sorry...I just...My parents can be a little overprotective and I don’t like when they ask so many questions so sometimes I just try to keep it simple and-”
He stops me.  “I guess I get it.  So, nothing personal?”
“Of course not...you’re really nice!”
He smiles a little.  “Thanks….Sorry...I can be kinda sensitive can’t I?  I don’t have much social experience so I’m just kind of adjusting.  Sorry if it ever bothers you.”  He looks down and looks just a little sad.
“N-no!  Don’t worry about it!  I’m not exactly the most social person anymore so you definitely shouldn’t feel bad.  We’re both adjusting...maybe we could bond over that.”
“Yeah...yeah!  We’ll work through it together!  We’ll never be alone when we have each other!”  It’s as though time stops.  Before I knew it, two welcoming arms were wrapped around me, squeezing me tight.  Nathan is hugging me tight like he’s going to lose me and has his head tucked next to my neck.  I’m surprised at first.  This is the first time I’ve actually accepted affection or even had someone to give it to me.  After the initial shock...I hug back.  It’s...nice.  I hug him tight.  After a little while we let go and lie on our backs, staring at the sky.  It’s getting dark so the stars start to come out and we gaze at them, not speaking a word.  We continue for a few minutes until I for some reason decide to blurt out: “How do you do it?”
“Huh?”  He asks.
“How do you act so happy?”
He ponders this for a moment.  “What...do you mean?”
“I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have blurted that out.”
“No...it’s okay.  Let me help you answer your question.  What do you mean?”  He repeats his question.
“Well...you’re homeschooled and you said you don’t really have friends.  Aren’t you lonely?  How are you so kind and bubbly when you’re so hurt inside?”
“Um...that’s a good question.  I guess...I guess I just have hope.  Hope that things will get better.  Hope that I will meet someone my age to talk to.  Hope that I won’t be so lonely anymore.  Does...that make...sense?  It’s kind of hard to explain.”
“Yeah...I think I get what you mean.”  I laugh lightly and Nathan looks a little confused and concerned.  “That’s probably part of how I lost my ability to talk to people and seem welcoming.  I lost my hope.  I just can’t bring myself to care anymore.  Everything just seems like a chore now.”
Nathan looks at me with sadness in his eyes.  “You...lost hope?  Living is a chore to you?  That’s...terrible!  What can I do to help you?!”  He gets tense and looks very anxious.
“Um...nothing really.”  I watch him look horrified.  “I mean...I have a condition that makes me like this and worse.  I guess if you want to help...just...please continue to be my friend?”
He beams at me.  “That’s easy!  I love hanging out with you!”
I smile and ask:  “You do?  Well, that’s the first time I’ve heard that in a while...thanks.”
He shines me a bittersweet smile.  I hug him tightly.  It’s subconscious.  I don’t mean to do it really, but he wraps his arms around me and assures me that he’s there for me and that everything will be okay.  He doesn’t say a word, but his actions speak louder than words. 
“I’m here, April.  It’ll all be okay.  I’m here.”  I melt into his words and I never want to let go.