The Gang Girl

Chapter 32- Protecting Love

AN// this chapter is un-edited because I no longer have my laptop and my editing program :( btw new chapters will be a longer time span apart because yeah, lack of computer and I hate writing on my ipad. Happy reading//

I scoff the words at him, and see them hit him like little knife slashes: they sting but don't kill.
"Excuse me?" His face was surprised and slightly mad.
Good. Get him mad.
Maybe he'll leave.
"You're excused," I smirk.
"Volkov." He sounded resigned to his fate now.
"You're a fool. Calling me a bad girl, telling me to break your heart. I'm a gang girl. I manipulate and break men. I won't break your heart. You'll break your own loving me. Because you can love me all you want, but I feel nothing. Being in our line of work, being in this society, having little to no emotions is better for you, and my teachers have all but molded me into the perfect member of any gang, the perfect player in high society. So love me, love me please, but I will never return it. And you'll break yourself doing so. I'm trying to spare you. You're a good man, Ivan. Don't break yourself loving something that's already broken." I walk up to him and stare him in the eye before walking past him, heading towards the house.
"Lexi." Kiana's little voice breaks the tension that I left behind.
I stop. I don't turn around, but I stop. She'd crack the mask I had to keep in place.
"Ivan, take her home. Keep her safe. Love her, if you must cast your emotion on someone." I try to keep my voice steady.
I succeed, to an extent.
I hear a commotion behind me and I will myself to not run to my little sister.
"Kiana, no." Ivan raises his voice slightly as I look at the ground and see the stubborn little creature in front of me, not a tear in sight, her face screaming at me how mad she was at the world.
At me.
Oh gods, she has my temper.
And she is only your sister. Can you imagine what your kids are going to be like?
Hell will burn, if I ever have kids.
"Kiana, I need you to go to Ivan. He's going to take you somewhere. Somewhere that will be safe."
"No," she stamps her foot in the sand.
"Kiana Volkov, do not dare act like that with me."
"You going away from me. Mumma went away from me. Big brothers aren't always here. Papa never here. Now you're going away from me. People keep leaving me. Why?" She wails the soft part softly and my heart breaks for her.
I drop down onto my knees in front of her and open my arms to her, letting her throw herself at me, burying her head into the juncture between my neck and shoulder.
"I just want to protect you. Keep you safe, so you don't leave me." I whisper, rubbing her back.
She just clings to me tighter, so I stand up, adjusting her so that I was carrying her and head into the house.
"Find a room for him. We may have some use for him, even if it is just to babysit." I call over my shoulder to Alpha.
I hear Alpha whistle at the slight dig and listen to Ivan mumble something under his breath.
Jackass.

***

"I'm surprised you let him stay. He isn't much use to us, physically." Alpha stands in my doorway, arms crossed.
"He's of more use to us then you know," I look down at where Kiana was essentially passed out in my bed.
"He's injured."
"So am I," I remind him.
"Okay. Fine. You have your plan and you've adjusted it to include him. I get that. But it'd be great if you could clue us in on it." He sounded bitter.
"Come here."
I hear, rather than see him shove off of the doorway and make his way over to the bed.
"She is why I let him stay. Why I've adjusted our plan to include him. If something happens to me, at least she has him and he has her." I stroke my sister's hair as I say this, keeping my voice soft so as to not wake her up.
A knock on the door ends the conversation and I look up, staring at Ivan.
"I just wanted to see Kia."
Alpha looks at me and I just give him a slight nod. He comes over, places a kiss on my forehead and walks out, letting Ivan in as he walks out and closes the door softly behind him.
"Don't stand there looking awkward, you'll make me feel worse then I already do." I mumble, looking at him standing in the middle of the room.
"How could you leave me like that, Alexis? I was there for you, whenever you needed someone. And when I needed you, you left. Disappeared. How?" He demands, getting straight to the point.
"You were shot, Ivan. In the left hand side of your chest. Because of me. And I am sick of people dying because of me. I left you to protect you, whether you believe me or not, but that is the truth. Take it or leave it." I stand up and move away from the bed, walking towards the window in my room that overlooks the beach, feeling the need to put distance between Ivan and I.
"Oh I believe you. But you aren't telling the whole truth. Come on, princess. Enlighten me."
Did he just call us out on our bullshit.
Yes.
"Why should I?" I retort back, hugging myself, not looking at him.
Yeah, that's great, keep denying it, fighting against it. He's just going to push you until you break.
"Because you own me that much. You owe it to me, to her, to your family, to at least let one of us into your little world of plans."
Asshole.
"So come on, little fighter, enlighten me as to why you left me. And don't tell me it was just to protect me, because I know it isn't just that." He comes and stands behind me, close enough that I can feel the heat coming off of his body.
"I fucking left you to protect you. I left you, because I love you. And I can't protect those I love by staying around them. Everyone I love dies on me, and you came so close. So, so close. I love you and I can't do anything to protect you other then pretend to the world that I don't." My voice breaks at the end, just as he turns me around and wraps his arms around me, holding me, keeping me safe.
"I love you too." He murmurs in my hair.