- trigger warning -
phil
"hey phil!"
"hey martyn."
"are you okay? you sound weird." his brother asked.
"yeah, i'm fine." the man lied. "met a nice guy yesterday."
"cool. i'm glad you're meeting new people."
"not sure i'll see him again, but i guess i'm glad too."
"right. you visiting mum with me today?"
"no, i'm sorry. didn't get a train ticket, i forgot." he lied again.
"okay. well... she misses you."
"i know." he mumbled, annoyed.
"i have to go. bye. can i send her a kiss from you?"
"sure. bye."
phil had a complicated relationship with his mother.
this was an issue for various different reasons.
ever since he was younger, she had not payed much attention to him. some would say this was just his jealousy of his brother but he knew that she cared more for martyn. probably because she found out about him and the boy he kissed in seventh grade. yet martyn had a beautiful girlfriend.
and when he needed his mother the most, she'd leave him. she'd go out. she once left him alone at night on a rainy day when he was just a kid, which resulted in an annoying fear of thunder that would make him have panic attacks at the most inconvenient times.
besides that, she left him, martyn and their father when he was thirteen. she came back three years later begging to be forgiven and saying she just needed to figure things out. martyn forgave her. phil and his father never did. and that resulted in his fear of others leaving him.
so no, he did not want to visit his sick mum in the hospital. he wanted to stay in manchester, get a job, and make friends, and forget all about her. his brother kept telling him he'd regret this but he didn't mind. she did not deserve his visit. she had caused too much trouble in his life. he knew she'd die soon enough and he wouldn't have visited her, but he really didn't have the strength to do that yet. talk to her, hug her and tell her he missed and loved her loads.
phil tried to shake the thought of his mother's death out of his head. he thought of dan. he hoped the boy would call him. he'd been pretty rude by kicking him out suddenly, and phil was confused, but maybe he was having a bad day, how could he know? dan seemed nice. he couldn't contact him, but he awaited a call.
starting to feel bored, phil got dressed and decided to finally go look for a job. something he'd enjoy and earn a bit of money with. he was taking a break from studies, and trying to have a bit of fun. he wasn't really feeling like it was time for university to end for him. he didn't want to have to go back to his hometown. he wanted to stay in manchester, meet new people, stay away from his sad past life in rossendale. so he made up his mind: he'd start over in manchester. forget all the shitty past stuff, and have a new beginning. but for that, he'd have to get a new job already.
but what kind of job would he be suited for?
he started to think of what he liked to do. what did he enjoy? music, movies, writing.
