broken eyes

SEE

modere let me sleep on his couch.

well, nap. i cried so hard i got sleepy.

i woke up to kisses from moose on my nose and cheeks, and a splitting headache.

i sit up, picking up moose's little squirming body, cradling him. i nestle my cheeks against his face, attracted to his heat. he licks my ear, satisfied.

modere slowly walks from the kitchen with a small mug.

"it's tea. to make you feel better," he hands me the mug and i graciously take it, letting the heat hit my face. i sit there, just warming myself.

"thanks," i don't look at him, afraid that i would lose control over my emotions again. my eyes feel sore and are burning. if i were to look in a mirror right now, my face would be swollen and my eyes red.

"welcome," modere finds his seat next me on the couch, he leaves little space between us. "i feel as if this, this was my fault," modere plays with the hem of his shirt (a habit of his i've noticed), and faces towards the windows.

i sigh. my breath blows the steam from the mug. "it's not,"

we sit in silence. moose senses the mood between us and lays his head solemnly on his paws.

we sit uncomfortably for a while; i sip my tea silently, modere stares outside. the sounds of the city fill the air peripherally.

eventually i gain the courage to look up and see where modere was staring. the glass windows were fogged and the sky had turned gray.

"the sky, the sky looks like the feathers of a flock of doves."

modere turns to look at me, surprised to find that i've broken the suffocating silence.

"the buildings look like leaden blocks that push and press against the clouds that lie above them."

i get up, walking towards the windows. i continue while pressing my palms against the windows.

"and it's seems so cold outside, so cold that you can see your breaths as a foggy vapor. like when people exhale smoke." modere chuckles behind me. i focus on his reflection in the window, he sits comfortably, as his image melts into the city below.

i turn and walk back to the couch, sitting next to modere, i watch him as his lips slowly turn upward into a lopsided smile. he sits there staring, peacefully, smiling.

"thank you, for, for painting that picture for me." modere turns to look at me now. "thank you. now i know i can see what you see."