once grant arrived at the hospital, i hadn't expected him to greet me as he did.
standing up, i watch him slowly creep through the automatic glass doors. immediately we catch each others eye contact. i stay still, allowing grant to rush towards me engulfing me in the biggest and warmest hug. i smile into his leather jacket, smelling his hair gel and soap.
slowly his hug loosens, but he doesn't let go. i hold him there, as he shakes in my arms.
"he'll be okay," i try to console grant, but it came off as an insincere attempt. i feel him nod against my shoulder.
grant lets go, and without a word, sits down across from my chair. "how long?"
i probably look awkward standing there with grant's tears stained on my yellow sweatshirt. so i sit down as well. "the nurses said that he was resting at the moment, but that moment was hours ago." i sigh despondently.
grant slumps down in his chair. "modere," he stares up at the ceiling in contempt. my stomach twists with guilt as if someone had stuck a knife through it. grant has no idea the amount of guilt that i happen to be drowning in.
grant looks down and turns his head towards me. at first, i feared that he could sense my change in demeanor. "how about you? are you okay?" he stares at me worriedly.
i wanted to say no. i wanted to collapse into a heap on the cold, linoleum floor and explode in tears and shrieks and tell him that i hate myself at this current moment. that i've made a mistake. no, i couldn't still believe that modere would want to forgive me as quickly as jace assumed. that thought vaporized in my mind when grant walked up to me and cried in my arms. i wanted to say that i would rather combust in this sticky chair that i've been in for the past hours than to go and explain myself to modere. i wanted to tell grant and everyone else in the world that i am a coward. i wanted to grab grant and shake him and yell at him that he had made the mistake of believing modere had let the right person into his life.
"i'll be fine once they tell me that modere has woken up." i resist the urge to light myself on fire.
"yeah," grant stares off into distant space, as i sit uncomfortably with my legs jerking up and down anxiously.
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...
...
"are you waiting to see modere lewis?" a nurse asks sweetly and suddenly me and grant were pulled out of the sinking pit of anxiety that we resigned ourselves to. i perk up in my chair sharing a look with an earnest grant.
"yes, and he is too." i gesture to grant. "why what's going on?"
the nurse glances between us both. she then turns to look at me solely. "but, are you hermia?"
grant eyes me worriedly. "yes," he answers for me, looking at me as if to tell me that it's okay.
"yes, that's me."
"great. well, he's woken up. everything's fine. he's just recovering now." grant lets out a breath that i'm sure he has been holding since last night.
"and he said he wanted to talk to you, ma'am." the nurse puts her hand gently on my shoulder.
my heart jerked and pulled in my chest.
YOU ARE READING
broken eyes
Nouvelles"his eyes were a light shade of blue, almost grey, like his eyes were what sadness feels like. "
