broken eyes

GUILTY

my new stranger friend, Jace, as he told me, had to go and visit his recovering brother. before he left he made sure to remind me that it was not my fault, as if i hadn't believed him in the first place.

i believe him. slightly.

i fall asleep in my chair in the most uncomfortable position possible. my neck was aching and my arms had fallen asleep. waking up, sitting up straight, i shake my arms to get the blood back circulating.

taking out my phone, i check the time.
after noting that it was 4:00 am (meaning that i was there for 6 hours), i noticed that grant had called me several times since the day before.

i dial his number back waiting for his response. i knew he had to be worried about where his best friend was for several hours.

"hey..." he answers groggily as if he had just woken up. "finally you answered your damn phone!'

shocked by his rudeness, i do not respond to grant immediately.

"shit, i mean, i'm sorry, i'm just," grant sighs and i knew that he hadn't just woken up from a restful sleep, he had been up all night. he was worried sick about modere.

"its fine, i get it," i sigh as well knowing that he probably had a much worse ordeal, he had no idea what happened. he needed to know that modere was hurt but was in safe hands. "you need to come to the hospital though,"

grant gives out a shaky breath. "my worst fear. " i sit silently in my cold, plastic hospital chair.

"i didn't want to call the hospital when i noticed that modere hadn't come by the gallery. i also didn't want to call the police either. so i waited. and called the only person i knew he had to be with. someone i knew will stay by his side. i called you. but you never answered. " quietly i sink far down in my chair in guilt and shame as if grant were in front of me saying those exact words.

"grant, i..." i interject hoping to redeem myself to him.

"i'll be there soon. " he hangs up and i sit solemnly alone listening to the silence of the waiting room.