September 1st 1982 was the first time I set eyes on Bill. 'William Weasley' was called up by the sorting hat and swiftly sent to Gryffindor table. His hair was longer than most and a vibrant ginger colour, making him easy to spot in any room. I tried not looking over at him much, I didn't want him to discover my growing crush on him, but somehow my eyes always ended up back in his direction even when I wasn't trying. It didn't take long for him to catch on. The muggle-born who blushed every single time he caught her eye, sandy hair purposefully falling to cover her face whenever it happened. My friends didn't help either, teasing me whenever he entered a room, making it their mission that the whole castle knew 'Vivian likes Bill'.
The worst time was during dinner. I had caught him looking this time, but the moment our eyes connected was the same moment I had sunk my teeth into a drumstick. Someone couldn't have cursed me to look worse in that moment. My face simultaneously felt drained of colour and red hot as the eye contact didn't break. His face was unreadable at first, a deer caught in the headlights as much as I had been, but then a smile broke out across his face. It was adorable, my heart melted at the sight, and then he looked away. The whole thing couldn't have been more than 5 seconds, but it had felt like a lifetime and it didn't leave my mind for the rest of the feast. He was looking at me. He smiled. Did he like me? Could he? Was I overthinking the entire thing?
I was lost in the castle when he approached me. I had purposefully left early from the feast to try and avoid him on the walk back to the common room, but the staircases weren't being friendly and I ended up in a part of the castle completely unfamiliar to me. I wasn't sure I would even have the castle fully memorised by my final year. His hand landed on my shoulder to grab my attention and I almost screamed. If I had been a cartoon character, you would have seen my skeleton jump from my body for a second. "Sorry! Didn't mean to scare you", his expression was so soft and he almost looked nervous, "you seemed a little lost and well I thought I would introduce myself".
"I'm slightly lost" I admitted, my cheeks flaring up. I had never actually spoken to him before. "I've never been to this part of the castle, I wish the staircases would stop changing". My voice was more rushed than usual, trying my best not to make a fool of myself.
"Well slightly lost, I'm Bill" A grin broke out on his face at the terrible pun and I couldn't help but laugh. It was adorable. He was adorable.
"Vivian" I said, my hands becoming clammy so I tried to subtly wipe them off on my robes.
I looked at the empty chair on the table, knowing exactly who was missing from it. I hadn't been to the Burrow for years. I used to come each Sunday for dinner, at first with Bill, then alone when he had to leave for Egypt. Eventually I stopped. First it was just avoiding the Burrow when Bill came home to visit, then it was avoiding going each week after. It was too much to see Bill's family, his things, see memories of us left to gather dust in his old room. More than anything it felt weird, wrong, we weren't dating anymore. He'd met someone in Egypt, I met someone at work. I needed to stop holding onto something that only hurt me.
"Come with me Vivian" He took my hands in his, eyes pleading.
"Bill... my work is here, my family is here" I could hardly meet his eyes. I loved him more than anything I could think of, but I couldn't drop everything in my life to follow him.
Molly helped massively, been there to support me on countless teary nights. I'd known her since I was 12 and first came to visit Bill, she was practically a second mother to me. We still sent letters occasionally, kept each other up to date, but that was it.
