Lost and Found

Alone

I slept for the rest of the day and only had a snack when necessary. My body woke up and I looked at my alarm clock to see that it was 1:17am. I roll out of my bed and go to my closet to get dress. I put on some sweats and head downstairs. As my car warms up I pull out of my neighborhood and begin to take random turns just to see where I end up. The roads are empty and I think about anything and everything. About my family, about Alec, about Emily, about what I want to do.

I stop the car and look up to see the park that Luke and I used to go to back when we were kids. I get out and shiver in the cold, and I hobble over to the swings and sit looking at the park. Its pitch black saved for the bright half-moon peeking out over the tall bare trees. The entire park is covered with a white layer of frost. It looks so ethereal and beautiful. Lonely things are beautiful.

It was a sunny Saturday in May and mom took Lucas and me to the park to enjoy some sunshine. During hide and seek Luke found a tree and we both climbed to the very top so we could see over the entire park. We were never scared off heights and mom would always get scared when we waved at her from the very top of our oak tree in the backyard. I was giggling about how Emily would never find us because we were up a tree. Emily was terrified of heights and Luke used that to our advantage. Luke held up a finger to his lips to signal for me to quiet down. I did and we swung our legs as we watched the rest of the kids played.

"I promise to always protect you and I will always be your number one bff. Will you promise?" he held his pinky up in question.

I smile and hooked my pinky to his as I said, "I promise."

We climbed down the tree to see a very angry Emily. We made up and I kept my smile on for the rest of the day.

"Hey," Luke said as he slipped into the swing next to mine.

I jump a little in my seat surprised that Luke found me here.

"Hi," I say quietly.

"I'm sorry," he turned to look at me.

I just gave him a blank look; sorry wasn't going to cut it.

"I'm sorry that I broke our promise, I'm sorry that I didn't protect you from Emily, and I'm sorry that I wasn't there for when you needed me the most," he said the last words with such agony.

"How are you going to fix all of those things," I say quietly.

"Well step by step right?" he tries to smile.

I look at the same tree that we made our promise on.

"What's the first step?" I rasp out.

"We talk," he sounds like he's talking to a scared animal.

"We talk?" I raise an eyebrow.

"We talk," he says firmly.

"What do we talk about?" I question.

"About how our lives have changed so far, what happened after eighth grade," he grimaces.

"You start," he looks at me.

I look down at my fiddling fingers and take a deep breath preparing to lay my soul out to him.

After having a long talk and both of us crying the sun was slowly creeping over the horizon. I turned my head back and looked at the sky, a new day. Things happen for a reason and maybe I needed to fall down to see who would help pick me up. Better late than never, right? We got up from the cold ground and I dusted off my butt. We got into our separate cars and drove back home. After I parked in the driveway my phone buzzed signaling a message.