The Unraveling of Isla Rose

Leaving the Dream Behind

I woke as soon as the sun appeared over the horizon. I yawned and through watery eyes could see the pink sky streaked with gold. I pushed the sheets back about to put one foot onto the cool timber floors when I felt Tom's arms come around my waist and pull me back to the bed accompanied by a husky voice saying,

"How dare you leave me!!"

I giggled as I allowed him to pull me back into the warm embrace if the blankets and his arms as he buried his face in my neck and I slipped back into a light sleep.

We were coming to an end of our stay up at the beach and it felt like time had gone so quickly and so many unbelievable things had happened I was scared to leave in case it was all a dream. On our last day there Tom and I decided to go up one of the cliffs that had a look-out at the top. I was pretty optimistic and very much looking forward to it. As for my phone, I had left it under my bed switched to airplane mode so that I wouldn't receive any notifications until I got home. I some ways this was both a blessing and a curse as I was dreading what would be on the screen once I returned home. I went downstairs and out onto the porch in the warm air of mid-morning. The beach was empty except for an elderly couple walking along the sand and my sister throwing a tennis ball to Simba who would sprint after it before it had even hit the ground. I absentmindedly picked at the nail on my thumb and wondered for the hundredth time what Tom was doing at this very second. I didn't have to use my imagination for very long though because at that same moment I saw Tom walking down to the beach shirtless and towel in hand. I watched him as he lay his towel down and I saw my chance. I meandered slowly down to the beach and was pleased to see he was lying on his front his head in his hands and his eyes closed. I filled my hand with sunscreen and once I was close enough threw it at him. I landed squarely on his back with a loud THWAKing sound and he yelped like a dog being hit and spun around quickly to see who and what had just hit him. I laughed hysterically at the look on his face and as he made the connection between me and the sunscreen in my right hand he dove for it. He snatched it out of my hand and I squealed as I began to sprint as quickly as I could away from him. I had just reached the dunes on the far side of the beach when I slipped in the sand falling onto my knees. I laughed and shrieked in terror as he advanced and covered my back in sunscreen before also managing to get it on my face too. I laughed and yelled in protest as he continued to cover me in sunscreen.

"Stooooop!"

He stopped and looked at me,

"What? I was just being sun smart..." He winked

I laughed and pushed him backward, he stumbled, lying on the beach with the sand now sticking to the sunscreen on his back. I stuck my tongue out at him and crawled over to him so I was now on all fours with my arms and leg on either side of him. He looked at me innocently kissing me on the nose. I smiled mischievously before jumping off him and running up the steep steps that lead up to the look-out. I slowed as the steps got higher and once he caught up to me we said nothing as we reached the top. I walked hesitantly over to the railing, the sea now a blue abyss beneath me with small white peaks where the waves broke close to the shore and where the current was strong and choppy. I suddenly felt a huge thrill of emotion overcome me making it difficult to breathe. I now understood while Tom had been crying that morning at the water's edge. A scene as beautiful as this provokes every emotion inside you and it was not difficult to see why people would throw themselves off cliffs and bridges. The sheer size of the water beneath you made you feel even smaller and more insignificant than anyone could make you feel with words. It was at that moment that I noticed I too was crying. The weight of my own life and everything in it seemed so unbearably heavy. As though my thoughts had summoned him, Tom walked up behind me. "I know its hard and I know you find it difficult to escape your own head sometimes but please just for a second, try to forget and stop thinking. I am here with you and I love you. I would do anything for you, you have to understand that." I tore my eyes away from the blue of the ocean, my tears forming kaleidoscopes in my eyes as I turned around and kissed Tom wanting him to understand and to make the pain go away.

In the car on the way home, I hardly said a word. It was beginning to dawn on me exactly what might be on my phone once I got home. Not to mention having to go back to school and see the people who as of a few weeks ago had made my life a living hell. As our car pulled into the driveway I hauled my stuff through the front door and into my bedroom. I grabbed my phone and jumped onto my bed rolling over and plugging my phone in. I feel the anxiety rising in my throat as the screen lit up. I connected the wifi and scrolled through my notifications. Some were from Tom who had obviously forgotten I had turned my phone off. Some were just things I had been tagged in by one of my friends from Sydney but once I reached the top of the screen I saw comment after comment. Someone had found a photo of me from when I was still at my old school,

"No wonder she is so desperate! coming from a private girls school!"

So many words in comments that nobody but me thought about. What these people didn't realise was that the stuff they spent two minutes writing and thinking about would stay with me for the rest of my life. I went into my messages remembering I had texted Sophie to see of she knew why Eloise was angry at me. Her text contained only five words and that was all I needed.

"She broke up with Dean..."

My heart sank. How could I have been so stupid? I should have known this would happen! I decided the only thing I could do would be to try and text Eloise again.

"Hey, I'm sorry about you and Dean... I'm really sorry if I have ruined something. I will see you at school tomorrow."

I threw my phone on the floor now angry and confused as I went to unpack all my stuff separating it all into the relevant piles. After I had put every last thing away I went back to my phone and scanned the screen hungrily. There was a message there but this time it was from Tom. I felt the knot in my stomach loosen,

"Hey weirdo hope you're ok, if not I have chocolate and am willing to send it to you by homing pigeon but Larry isn't always very reliable so if you want it you will have to come and get it."

I smiled, as much as I loved Tom I couldn't face him right now especially after all that stuff I had just read. He probably wouldn't understand and think I was overreacting, which I probably was. I texted him back instead saying,

"I am fat enough as is and my parents may as well have adopted you considering the amount of time we spend together. I'll see you tomorrow."

At 6:30 the next morning I woke up the next morning staring at my wall contently until it all came rushing back. The comments, Tom, Eloise. I peeled the blankets off me and stumbled out of bed hardly opening my eyes as I went to switch on the light. I got dressed without thinking about it and waste breakfast so that it felt like only seconds before I was walking down to the end of my street where I saw Tom leaning with one foot against the fence, smirking. I couldn't help but smile as I shoved him playfully. I didn't talk much as we walked so caught up in the anxiety of what could happen at school today. I flinched when Tom spoke.

"Isla you have to tell me what's going on!" I could tell he was getting frustrated and I already regretted what I was saying before it came out of my mouth.

"I don't have to tell you anything so could you please just stop asking!"

He looked at me hurt and confused and I was about to apologise when he responded,

"I only ask because I care but whatever."

"Tom I'm sorry I didn't mean that I know you care I just have a bit going on at the moment."

I went on to ask him what he had on that day feeling guilty and hardly listening while fiddled with the hem of my school skirt.