bullies, fame and tattoos ; luke hemmings

high school [8]

|| e m i l y ||

finally, people started filing in.

to be frank, i liked just being on my own, sitting cross legged on the floor in front of homeroom.

most people were whispering to each other in hushed tones when they walk by me. i wanted to so badly just flip them off or yell curses at them, but i couldn't get myself to.

i couldn't care less, i was numb.

and that's how i felt for the rest of the day.

that is, until it was school ended.

i just wanted to leave, but as i headed towards my locker, i could hear the words they were muttering. 'death, funeral, parents, hospital.' bloody hell when would it stop!

i couldn't help the tears the stung me eyes. i couldn't help but feel how alone i am in this world.

my parents are gone, no one at school cares about me. i have aunt jess, but even she has other things that are more important to her than taking care of some crying teenager who lost her parents.

i wanted it all to end. but the angels above didn't hear me because out come michael and ashton. both wanting to cause a ruckus, i could tell by the way ashton's nose twitches, or how michael rubs his hands together, as if preparing for a fight.

"oh look, it's the girl whose parents died." someone behind me cackles. i thought it was michael, trying to catch me off guard. but when i turn around to only see luke and a group of people crowding behind him. more wanting to see the commotion than try to get involved.

"do you miss your mommy and daddy nerd." he mocks, exaggerating a pout and acting like he's crying. i don't understand the joy in hurting other people. maybe there's this new found confidence after putting others down and pointing out all their flaws. i guess it assures the bully that there is someone worse than them and in a worse situation than they are.

but after that, there's just guilt. a realisation strikes that i, as a hypothetical bully, have just as many flaws and imperfection as that 'nerd' i'm making fun of. it's just a vicious cycle that won't stop. make fun of someone, feel satisfaction. then feel guilty and finally the loss of satisfaction. and it just keeps going.

"now the little nerd has found her true self. alone, depressed and unloved." luke was now so close i could feel his breathing. he looked straight into my eyes, a smirk playing on his lips.

i swear i could see that guilt from the vicious cycle laced into the sea blue of his eyes.

despite the whole school surrounding us, no one even regarded his remark, keeping their mouths shut and observing from afar.

"at least my parents actually cared about me when they were alive." i snarl. he was taken aback by the statement, but his surprise was quickly disregarded and luke went back to his anger facade.

"what did you say." he growls, so quietly even i could barely hear it.

"your parents hate you luke! don't even try to shrug it off." i snapped. now that guilt that was just in his eyes were replaced with pure anger. i swear i could see flecks of red in his iris.

sure i felt guilt and i knew it was a sensitive topic but he deserves it. after the countless hurt he's caused me and yelling out all my secrets, whether it's small or way larger than the secret i just blurted out.

the crowd gasps, starting to murmur to each other.

maybe that's why bullies exist. for revenge and vengeance. to avenge someone that's been hurt, killed or to simply regain their own ground in the argument.

"you swore to never tell a soul." luke roars, balling my jacket in his fist and lifting me up so that my feet can't touch the ground.

"we made that promise when we were actually friends luke. it doesn't really look like that anymore does it." i sneer, pushing him off me but he just proceeds to slam me into the lockers. wincing from the contact, his boisterous voice rings through the hallway again.

"you swore emily! you swore!" his tough facade was fading, i swear i could see tears in his eyes. but he just wipes them away and looks back me more aggravated than before.

the audience was silent, letting luke's word hang in the air, no one daring to even take a breath.

"well making fun of someone's dead parents isn't nice either luke." i wasn't even yelling anymore, i know i've already cracked through his shell and just saying my words would be enough to push him off the edge.

his eyes started to soften, he was empathising. i saw his eyebrows furrow, it's how i knew he's trying to connect with someone on a deeper level and trying to understand their emotions.

his lip ring was quivering in sync with his mouth. his hand was struggling to hold me steady, so he drops me. but not without a long hard punch to my jaw.

pain erupted from the point where his fist connected with my jaw. i could tell luke was working out, he'd gain a lot of muscle, but i didn't think he'd be able to hit that hard.

and to think, i thought he had a heart for a split second.

michael steps up to luke. i didn't even realise michael was there but what he muttered to luke couldn't be good news. and then i felt more pain. it was more numb than anything because it was all just too much. the main source of discomfort was coming from my head and is justified by the warm, liquid oozing down my neck.

they kept kicking me around like a rag doll, more and more pain. i saw people trying to help but luke's rage was too much for even ashton to hold back, and he's in the grade above. i try remembering our last good memories together, catching onto good thoughts to try and ease my mind off the pain. if this were to be my last moments, i would end my thoughts on a happier note.

but that wasn't exactly the easiest thing to do when your ex best friend was mauling you to death basically.

i didn't do much after that except for collapse with tears from the pain streaming down my cheeks. i was streaming blood and tears, so much so i don't think i'd have any left if i survived. the last think i remember is when my body soon succumbed to the blood loss and i was fading in and out of consciousness. i black out, but not before i watch luke as he ran away towards the boy bathroom.