Neon Fire {dl}

Chapter 2

~Leah

I trudged back up to my room and shut the door behind me. I sank to the floor, my facade of strength gone and I burst into sobs. A little voice inside me nagged

You thought you had no one. Now you know. You really are alone.

I shut the little voice inside my head out, knowing full well it would come back twice as loud later. I grabbed my huge suitcase from under my bed and started throwing clothes in, not caring if I had any full outfits or not.

I walked over to my CD player and pressed play, relaxing as I heard the pure voice of Demi Lovato fill the silence of my room. I kept pressing the "next" button until I heard the familiar piano chords of Skyscraper fill the room.

This was my all time favourite song, whenever I listened to it, it filled me up with strength I didn't know I had. And I needed that right now. Demi's voice in this song was so raw it always hit me deep down. I loved it because it made me feel something other than pain.

I packed all my stuff from the bathroom and my wardrobes pretty quickly. I'd never had much time for clothes or clothes shopping at the mall. Like I had any friends to go with. So as a result I owned very little. I walked over to my chest of drawers and picked up a picture frame that was on top of it.

It was a photo of my family that had been taken when I was seven, before I started starving myself and self-medicating. We had taken a trip to France and we stopped off in Disneyland Paris after myself and Caleb nearly worked ourselves into a frenzy by begging my parents to go there.

I smiled back on the fond memories and tossed the frame into the suitcase. Good memories in this family were rare so I cherished the few that I had. I walked into my bathroom and reached beneath the sink where all the pipes were.

My hand groped around until I found what I was looking for. I took a battered tin box out from under the sink and opened it. It was full of medicine bottles and razors. My Pandora's box. Full of pain but my only means of escape. I walked back into my room and stuffed the box down the side of my suitcase and wrapping it in tinfoil so the sensors in the airport wouldn't detect the blades.

I zipped the case up easily and dumped it on the floor, ready for tomorrow. I climbed onto the bed and lay down, exhausted from today's events. My eyes started to droop but a familiar ache in my bones reminded me it was time to get a fix.

I reached under my bed and took out a small pill bottle I had bought from a pharmacy with a fake prescription. I tipped three white pills onto my hand and examined them. Ketamine, sometimes used as horse tranquilliser but for me it was an escape. I swallowed the pills and lay back down on the bed as my vision started to swim. I grinned lazily as I drifted off into a drugged stupor and let myself float away.

The next day..

I awoke to the sound of my mothers shoes clacking on the wooden staircase. The footsteps approached my door and she rapped on the door with her knuckles.

"Your flight leaves in an hour darling, eat some breakfast. We need to leave soon." I blinked slowly, still slow from last nights fix and looked around the room. Sunlight streamed in the windows and illuminated the bare surfaces of my room as all my stuff was packed.

I heaved myself out of bed and went to the bathroom to take a shower. I let the hot water relax my tense muscles and I washed my hair thoroughly before getting out. I towelled myself dry, making sure not to look in the mirror at my body and pulled on a pair of black ripped skinny jeans and an old green Ireland hoodie that was Caleb's when he played rugby. I left my hair down to dry naturally. I didn't put on any make up because I didn't own any. Nothing could make me pretty.