Neon Fire {dl}

Chapter 32

I can't sleep tonight
Wide awake and so confused
Everything's in line
But I am bruised
I need a voice to echo
I need a light to take me home
I kinda need a hero
Is it you?

I never see the forest for the trees
I could really use your melody
Baby I'm a little blind
I think it's time for you to find me

Can you be my nightingale?
Sing to me
I know you're there
You could be my sanity
Bring me peace
Sing me to sleep
Say you'll be my nightingale

Somebody speak to me
Cause I'm feeling like hell
Need you to answer me
I'm overwhelmed
I need a voice to echo
I need a light to take me home
I need a star to follow
I don't know

I never see the forest for the trees
I could really use your melody
Baby I'm a little blind
I think it's time for you to find me

Can you be my nightingale?
Sing to me
I know you're there
You could be my sanity
Bring me peace
Sing me to sleep
Say you'll be my nightingale

I don't know what I'd do without you
Your words are like a whisper cutting through
As long as you are with me here tonight
I'm good

Can you be my nightingale?
Feels so close
I know you're there
Oh, nightingale
Sing to me
I know you're there
'Cause baby you're my sanity
You bring me peace
Sing me to sleep
Say you'll be my nightingale

~Lauren

I shut the door of my office with a bang and leaned my back against it, panting heavily. My breathing was ragged and my emotions a swirling mess as my brain tried to process what I had just done. I had just kissed a patient and for the second time. My career was over. I was done. I began pacing the room at a rapid speed.

"I'm fucked. I'm so so fucked. Fuck. FUCK!!" I screamed the last word out, sweeping a hand across my desk, patient files and reports scattering all over the floor. I picked up the small potted cactus that usually resided at the top corner of my desk and flung it at the door, only to watch it nearly smash into Leah's face as she peeped her head around the door. 

"Jesus fuck, Lauren?? Projectile plants aren't fucking ok!" She squealed as the prickly missile missed her head by inches. My head nearly exploded at the sound of her voice, my emotions torn. 

"This really isn't the time, Leah." I warned, my voice shaking as I struggled to maintain some sort of composure. She rolled her eyes and shut the door behind her, leaning her back against it like I had done only moments before. She met me with a surprisingly steady gaze. 

"You need to calm down Lauren. Nobody's died, everything's fine." I let out a loud laugh.

"Everything's fine??" I echoed her incredulously. "No, everything isn't fine. I just kissed you and you kissed me back. I can't develop feelings for a patient. It's completely unprofessional and it puts you in danger. I can't do this again." 

Leah arched her eyebrow. "Again?? Jesus, Lauren, do you try and get off with everyone who comes in here?" I gave her a withering look before turning back to my desk and sighing heavily. I hadn't meant the last part to slip out, what had happened between me and Demi was private.

"What?? No I don't - just shut up for a second and let me think!" I stuttered out to which Leah's eyebrow raised even higher. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath but before I could say anything she spoke.