Neon Fire {dl}

Chapter 5

~Leah



My heart nearly stopped. Did she just say what I think she said? My mind went into a frenzy as I processed her words and I opened my mouth to say something.


"I... I wouldn't have known.. How long have you know that you were.. You were a lesbian?" My words came out jumbled and unsure. She was desperately scanning my face for my reactions.


"I dunno, I think you always know deep down that you're different. When people are pouring over pictures of Channing Tatum and Ryan Gosling and you find yourself more drawn to Ellie Goulding or Perrie Edwards I think you just know." She giggled and I joined in nervously.


I still couldn't believe what I was hearing. The amount of time that I had spent staring at pictures of the woman that sat in front of me now, wondering what it would be like to run my fingers through her hair, hold her hand, kiss her... Make her moan my name...


I snapped out of it and focused back on her with a smile bigger than I've ever remembered giving in a long time.


"Well," I began, taking her hand, "I think you're incredibly brave for telling me and for keeping something like this to yourself all these years. You really are incredible."


She lowered her head blushing and before I lost my nerve I reached out and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. She looked up at me and I deliberately drew my hand back incredibly slowly, relishing skin to skin contact with her.


"Things don't seem so scary when you're talking to the right person." She whispered almost inaudibly. I rubbed my palms against my jeans nervously as an awkward tension settled around us.


"What about you?" She asked. I shrugged and began playing with a strand of my hair.


"I've never really been attracted to anyone," i admitted, "I've always been to sick or too weak to give anyone the attention they need.." I paused and sneaked a quick glance at her. Her face seemed to have fallen, almost disappointed so I took a deep breath.


"I've never been well enough to treat a girl with the love she needs in a relationship. With the love she deserves."


With that Demi's head snapped back up and there was a new light in her eyes that set a fire coursing through my veins. She bit her lip, smiling uncontrollably which caused my heart to lurch.


"Well things change," she replied softly. "And people change too. Lets hope that changes soon, right?" I nodded, not breaking eye contact with her.


"I'm here to change." I whispered. Demi sat up a little more and slid towards me. She reached out a hand and was about to place it on my knee when a knock on the door startled us, causing Demi to jump away from me.


"Ladies, dinner will be in the canteen tonight. You've done well so far so this is your reward. Dinner in 5 so start moving now!" A voice called through the door.


We looked at each other sheepishly. I got up.


"Chow time." I said with a smile, trying to settle the awkwardness in the room. Demi smiled back and got up off the bed, walking with me to the cafeteria. We were walking right beside each other and our hands kept brushing. The only thing I wanted to do right now was grab her hand and hold it tight but I was unsure of where we stood.


We took our trays of food to a table for two in the corner and sat down. A nurse pulled up a chair beside us to make sure we ate all of our meal and didn't stash any in our clothes. There was only five small pieces of chicken and a lump of mashed potato but I found myself struggling after two bites.


I felt Demi watching me play with my food and I squirmed under her gaze as well as the nurses. I was about to give up when Demi gently took the fork from my grasp. She loaded the fork with mashed potato and brought it up to my mouth.


"If you're not going to do it for yourself, do it for me." She whispered. I glanced at the nurse who was watching us closely and then back to Demi. I reluctantly opened my mouth and she fed me the potato. I fought the urge to spit it out and swallowed it. I grabbed my glass of water and chugged it down trying to wash away the calories out of my system faster.


Demi put down my fork and leaned closer towards me. I felt her breath hot on my cheek as she whispered in my ear in the sexiest raspy voice I've ever heard.


"Every time you eat a two mouthfuls of your meal, you get one of these." She withdrew slightly from my ear and kissed me on the cheek. My face flared red and I blushed deeply as she drew back from me.


"Do we have a deal?" She stared into my eyes, challenging me to react. I didn't say anything, instead I picked up my fork and speared a piece of chicken. After eating it with huge difficulty I managed another mouthful of potato. I swallowed it and screwed my eyes shut, gripping the table waiting for the wave of nausea to pass.


After a few moments I opened my eyes and Demi was smiling at me, it was almost worth it just for the smile. She leaned forward again and kissed my other cheek this time, lingering there for just a fraction longer than necessary. She was driving me crazy.


Dinner passed like this, every two mouthfuls she would kiss me, turning my insides into liquid fire. I finally cleared my plate and looked at the nurse who nodded curtly, signalling that I was done. I sighed shakily as I began to feel nauseous. I felt a strong hand grip my arm.


"I know you feel like you want to throw up, but trust me if you do it here they'll force feed you more." Demi's voice whispered in my ear. I nodded and concentrated on my breathing as we walked out of the canteen to our room. The male nurse smiled at us and opened the door, letting us in before locking the door behind us.


As soon as I heard the lock click I ran to the toilet and dropped to my knees. I was about to put my fingers down my throat to throw it all back up when I felt Demi drop down behind me. She grasped my wrist before I could say anything.


"If you do this, you'll never get out of here." She stated, holding my wrist with one hand and her other hand slowly snaked around my waist, replacing the waves of sickness with nervous butterflies. She moved her head to my shoulder and whispered so close to my neck I could almost feel her lips on them.


"You need to start fighting this. The first time is the hardest and yes you'll feel like a piece of shit. But you'll realise soon it's worth it."


She closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against the back of my head before sighing softly.


"You're worth it, Leah."


I lowered my hand down to where her hand was on my waist and entwined her fingers with mine. I held both of her hands with my own and slowly waited for the sickness to disappear completely. I never wanted to end this moment. I never wanted the feeling of her breath tickling the skin of my neck to stop. I never wanted to let go of her hands which were laced with mine.


I never wanted to feel anything without her again.



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Hey again :)


This is my last update tonight because it's getting late but there are so so much more still to come..
Thank you for your votes, it means a lot to me that people are reading this story :)

Please comment what you think so far :)


Stay strong. Keep smiling :)


As always, I love you


L x