Traveler of the Sky // Shawn Mendes

Twitter

I went to bed, thinking about you, and Shawn. Thinking about the both of you. It's emotional. I trusted you wouldn't leave me, and you did. I trusted Shawn to stay even though my past is horrible, and he left. He left as soon as I told him about you. He couldn't handle all of the information, or he couldn't that I occasionally have night terrors, or that I trust issues so it's hard for me to be comfortable with new people. Or maybe he just couldn't handle me.

I fell asleep thinking about the both of you. Everything I went through with you. Everything Me and Shawn have done. Everything I did with Shawn that I was supposed to do with you. You just walked out on me. The door wasn't open for you to leave, but you unlocked it and you took Skylynn with you when you walked out of it.

Sometimes I think I miss her more than I miss you. She was so full hope, and laughter, and joy. She was so carefree. It's not fair. What you did to her, it wasn't fair. You took her life, you couldn't put her in her booster seat in the front or back seat. I will never know why you couldn't just take the time to put her in the booster seat in the back. You loved her so much, she was your pride and joy. You protected her from everything that could possibly hurt her, but you couldn't protect her from yourself.

How did we let this happen? How did our friendship come to this? We both promised each other 'Never apart, only in heart' You weren't supposed to leave so early. We were supposed to grow old together and our grandchildren were supposed to fall in love with each other and get married. We weren't going to get married. You knew that, I knew that. Our parents didn't want to believe it, but they had too. We thought we had a thing. It was a false love. Freshmen year was it. That was the last straw with all of the mindless flirting, sneaking kissy faces from across the classroom behind the teachers back, and all of the fake love notes. We gave into our feelings that we thought we had. But I knew you. You were one of the players of the school by the middle of our sophomore year. You got to be with Skylar Jade your freshmen year. The girl no one dared to go near because she was so 'pure' and 'untamed'. I should have listened to my mind when it was telling me that being with you emotionally was a bad idea. But heart over mind right? Or so I thought. You broke my heart, but I forgave you because you were still my best friend. I still loved you. I still love you. But you're gone now, and I have to accept that. I never dated anyone after you. You were the only one. But you moved on about 3 days later.

Shawn apparently never even had anything going for me. Not even being my friend since he decided to leave before he even had the chance to actually learn every single thing about me. Maybe I'm the negative figure in all of these equations. You couldn't handle me anymore, so you left and you took Skylynn with you. Shawn couldn't handle my gypsy soul right now so he left too. But Shawn said he was on a world tour, so he must have somewhat of a gypsy soul to travel the world and perform right? I can't be the one of all three of us that just wanted to travel.

Shawn sais something about twitter, so I got my phone out and opened the app. I got about 3,000 followers, all fangirls obviously. All of them have pictures of their own or have retweeted photos of me and Shawn. I guess all of those lights in the lobby were cameras. One girls tweeted 'I ship them #Shylar' 'Does this girl even realize that she is standing right next to Shawn Mendes on the elevator?! #Shylar' 'Am I the only one who doesn't ship #Shylar' 'She doesn't even know what he's worth, she didn't even know him before her flight over to London #Shylar' 'Does she know what she's getting herself into? #Shylar' 'I think I speak for the entire fandom when I say that no one wants #Shylar to happen'

@Paige__Noelle #Shylar isn't a thing, so you guys don't need to worry! We are just friends, exploring London together! My flight leaves tomorrow, and Shawn is staying here for a few more days, so everything is fine guys, you don't need to worry!

I use a fake twitter username but Skylar Jade is my official name on the app. There are so many pictures of me and Shawn in the hotel, and even out and about in the city! Some girls are tweeting about the way he looks at me, or how we he was holding my hands when we were in line for the London Eye. How cute and sweet he is to me, or how I don't deserve him and I'm ungrateful and ugly. How I'm not his type, and I don't deserve him. Again.

 Why would Shawn tell me to get on twitter? I didn't ask for any of this. I thought he was just a guy on a plane. Turns out he's famous and has a very defensive fandom. A fandom that doesn't want me to be in his life. I guess it's a good thing I won't be after tomorrow. Lucky them.

Deciding that it's going to be impossible for me to sleep I begin separating my clothes into clean and dirty clothes. I go downstairs and use the washer and dryer for the people who have long term stays. While I'm down there I hear girls whispering, saying my name and Shawn's name in the same sentence. Oh no, I've never had interaction with any of the fangirls in person.

"Are you Skylar Jade?" One of them asks, there's two of them. One has shoulder length blonde hair and looks about fifteen. She has bright blue eyes just like you, she looks to be about my height. The other is shorter than the other girl by a few inches, she has paler skin and hazel eyes. She has red hair like Ariel from The Little Mermaid. 

"Yes, I am," I reply.

"Well we saw your tweet, why are you leaving tomorrow? Are some of these fangirls too much to handle? Because of some of them can be really rude, and disrespectful. But why are you leaving Shawn? And where are you going?" The blonde one asked me.

"Yeah I've seen some of their tweets, and I never intended to travel with Shawn, I met him on the flight over here. We sat next to each other on the plane, and then we ended up staying at the same hotel, and even on the same floor. We both decided that we didn't want to explore the city alone, so we decided to go sightseeing together, that's all. And I'm going to France," I tell them reassuringly.

"Well, we followed you on twitter the both of us. So if you take any pictures while you're there, upload them. We like you," The red-haired one finally spoke up.

"Here I'll just follow you guys, just type in your usernames so I can get this laundry in the washing machine," I tell them, handing them my phone.

"Thank you so much Skylar! We still ship you and Shawn!" the blonde one said, apparently her name is Geneva, and the one with red hair was named Abby.

After they leave I finish my laundry and take it back up to my room. I notice that my flight leaves in about 5 hours so I decided to try and sleep. I set my alarm for 1 hour before my flight leaves. I finish packing with all clean clothes now, lay down on the bed and fall asleep. Finally.