Traveler of the Sky // Shawn Mendes

Say Something

Wow, I must have the worst of luck. I am fully convinced that God hates me right now. Shawn, is standing right in front of me in the hotel. I was right, he was in the same hotel that I am in, right now. He's standing in front of me, right now. This is happening to me. I was a better person when I wasn't attached to him. I was a better person when I wasn't in touch with my feelings. But now, some pop-star came up, and I didn't even know he was famous, and made me become capable of having feelings for someone again. I never wanted this to happen. I wanted to travel the world, by myself and figure out what I was going to do with my life. But instead, Shawn just had to sit next to me on that plane. He had to make conversation with me, and be friendly. Why did it happen so fast. Nash was taken so fast, and everything with Shawn happened so fast. 

I was a very sad person when I went to London. I was depressed, un-diagnosed, but people would say I was depressed. Then, Shawn, fangirls, and airplanes. Now, I don't feel sad, but I don't feel happy. I have only ever had feelings for one person, and one person only. Nash, he was my best friend, and I fell in love with my best friend, and lost my best friend. Now, months later, I barely have a friend, who probably thinks I have feelings for him because he heard me talk about our whole freaking friendship to my new friend, who is actually a friend, and he then heard her say I'm in love with him, then he heard me ask her if she thought I had feelings for him because that's how this stuff goes in the books and movies. 

I'm overthinking this. Why am I over thinking this? This isn't right, something isn't right. I don't act like this about guys, not even about Nash. I just kept my feelings for him, under my expressionless face. Masked the real feelings, with the fake ones. I coped the heartbreak. I got over my feelings for Nash, but since the accident I felt the loss of my best friend and I hurt all over again. We were going to go to Trine University together. He wanted to major in Biochemistry, he loved A.P. Bio and A.P. Chem in high school. I was going to double major in history and teaching to become a high school history teacher. He wanted to do something big in the medical field with his degree, and all I wanted to do was the change the lives of students. He wanted to change the lives of everyone. 

I don't know what Shawn wants to do with his life besides performing for his fans, and making music. He wants to change everyone's life with his music. All I want to do is change a few lives. Shawn is travelling to make his international fans happy, I'm travelling to make myself happy. I don't know about my real feelings, because I haven't felt any for a long time. It's going to take a long time for me to accept the fact that I am could make myself vulnerable for someone else again. I don't know if Shawn wants to wait that long. 

"Sky, say something. I need you to say something," He's waiting on me, but for how long?