The Stars, The Moon, And You

Smoke

    I started smoking.

    It wasn't often. never when Lee was around, and Lee was always around. I felt like it was the only thing that could get my mind off of everything that was whizzing around trying to take me down. It was way easier to blow all my thoughts away into smoke and leave them to be dealt with another time.

Today I didn't see Lee at all. I sat outside of school, a cigarette hanging out of my mouth before first period in case her mom was going to drop her off, but she never came. I checked my phone at least 100 times between first period and lunch but there was no sign of her.  Rick told me she was probably just sick, but I couldn't help but worry as we stood outside breathing smoke into the cool autumn air.

I stepped off of the bus alone at the end of the day. I checked my phone again. Nothing.  We usually nonstop texted, even when we were right next to each other, which I thought was dumb and she thought was cute. I couldn't help but feel like something was wrong.

Instead of walking to my house, I found myself trotting up to her front porch and ringing the doorbell. I bit my lip as I waited for someone to answer. I hoped someone would answer.

Lee's mother peeked out at me. She had Lee's eyes, and wrinkles spotted her cheeks, I had never seen her smile. There was something very dead about her that I never dared to ask about. She looked at me worriedly. Opening the screen door between us, then she wrapped her arms around me into a hug that was familiar but unfamiliar.

"Where's Lee?" I asked, pulling away from  her.

Lee's mom shook her head slowly, she looked into the sky. "I don't know." She said slowly. "Her father called her." She said the word father with an unmistakable ice. I'd never heard anything about Lee's father, and I guess I never even questioned it. "She ran off." Tears ran down her cheeks. I wished I had been there earlier. How long had Lee been gone?

Before I knew it I was running. I didn't know where. I just let my feet take me where I needed to be. I was breathing hard and my legs were burning but i couldn't stop. I was halfway through the woods when I realized how fast i was running. Twigs broke under my feet and the world buzzed past. I finally had to stop and breathe.

I don't know why I looked up. I don't know what made me. If I had looked up things would have been so different from if I hadn't. I looked up. I spotted a read T-shirt on a short haired girl, staring at nothing up in a tree. She didn't look like Lee.

She was so high up. I wondered how she got there. I wondered how she would get down. I wondered if she even noticed me.

"LEE." My voice rang out into the forest and a group of birds fled from a nearby tree, creating a cloud of noise.

She shifted and looked down at me. She didn't look surprised. She didn't look like she had any emotion. She  scared me.

"Lee. Come down." I said, laying my head on the tree, staring at the ground below.

"No." A scratchy voice sounded from above. It wasn't Lee. It couldn't be. It was too sad.
A silence settles between the trees. I don't know what to do. I've never been good at comforting people. That was Lee's thing.

"Go away." The voice sounded again. It echoed a bit.

I didn't go away, instead I grabbed the nearest branch and hoisted myself up. Pain bubbled in my palms. I could never climb trees. I got about 3 feet off of the ground until a branch cracked and I fell hard onto the ground.

"Susan!?" Lee shouted down. I heard fear in her voice, but it sounded more liike herself

I looked up. She was staring down at me. I pulled myself back onto my feet. I had scratches covering my face and arms, but otherwise I was fine.