The Stars, The Moon, And You

To Celebrate

No one knows about Susan and I except for Ben, and she was determined to keep it that way. At least until a couple weeks ago when she approached me, asking me to help her Rick. Both of them were rebuilding their friendship with a stronger material than what it was made of last time. I'm honestly surprised she hasn't told him yet. Naturally, I agreed.

So I stand outside of the computer lab after school, watching them, redesigning the code of Susan's blog. Rick had been able to temporarily fix some of the glitches from before but ultimately decided that they needed to redo the whole thing. His eyes are in another world as he types things onto the screen that I'll never understand. I tap on the door and signal to my watch when Susan's green eyes find me. It's half past three and the computer teacher usually only lets people stay until half an hour earlier

She's nervous. She's been nervous all day, tapping furiously on every surface she can find. In creative writing her pencil's constant drumming was getting to my head. I ended up drawing multiple frowny faces on the assignment we were working on together.

I watch them pick up their backpacks and head out of the room. The plan was for Rick to drive Susan and I home... and the rest... we hadn't really talked about. There isn't really a way to plan things like this thoroughly.

"Hey, Lee." Rick says. We get along, but not as well as he does with Susan. Part of me is a bit jealous of him, but the other part is more rational. Susan is allowed to have other friends.

"Hi." I say.

Susan shoots me a tight smile, she's scared, but she's ready. If anything backfires, I'm here. That's my job. I think I'm scared too.

Rick drives an old, beat up minivan. It's dorky, but he loves it to death. People make fun of him for it, they call him a soccer mom, but he doesn't care. He's oddly proud of it.

Susan calls shotgun, and I climb into a middle seat, setting my bag next to me. I feel like a car like this should be thriving, with a family in it, and cheerios forever stuck between the seats, but this one is just lonely. I wonder what's the story behind it.

Rick and Susan gab a bit about coding, and things I don't understand, while the radio blasts heavy metal. The landscape passes by, almost gracefully. The sun is already setting, even though it's barely past five. Winter is coming fast.

Their conversation lulls, and I feel the tension rising. I take my eyes off of the window. It's like when you pull back a rubber band, ready to shoot it, but you're still scared it might fling back at you.

"Rick..." Susan starts, fumbling with the sleeve of her jacket." I'm gay." She suddenly sputters, then bites her lip. Staring out the windshield. Locking herself away from the rest of the world.

There's silence for a second. I think Susan has stopped breathing. I know I have. Then, with a small voice Rick says,"Oh... Okay."

Susan sighs, and I suddenly feel like I'm not really meant to be here. Rick glances back at me, and I don't really know what to do. I think the feeling is mutual.

Susan looks like she's about to say something else, but then looks back at me, pleading. Silent words that form silent sentences. They're pretty easy to understand, sometimes it's like we share a mind.

I let out a breath. "Susan and I are dating." It comes out fast and choppy, but it's out.

"Oh." Rick says. This 'oh' sounds more surprised than the last one though. I don't know why.

There is more silence and I can tell that Susan is starting to crack. She's drumming on the armrests like a maniac.

"Thanks," Rick finally says. Eyes on the road, almost no emotion on his face. Susan's tapping stops. "For telling me that... I never would've been able to."

Susan smiles then, she's better at reading Rick than I am, even though I'm usually pretty good at reading people. This passionless response somehow meant that he was fine with the whole thing. Nonetheless it made me feel better about it all.

"Thanks for not hating me." Says Susan. The air in the car is still awkward and full of tension, but less than it had been before. It was settling into a friendly feeling.

Rick replies by smiling and shaking his head. "How could I?"

The car starts to turn, but it's not our street yet. Susan frowns. "Where are we going, Rick?" I say.

"Coffee." He said. "To celebrate this."

A.n
I really suck at writing, don't I? Don't worry. I'm trying to get better 💙