The Sound of the Rain was Never Louder

There is a Dove in My Garden (part 3)

It's been a week since the event at the bus stop. And now I've created a weird tension between us all.
We were all eating some monkey bread. And Alexander was refusing to make eye contact with me. I was staring straight at him too. Wanting a reaction in some field.
   Aaron was showing off a new app.
"So you need to talk and be local to these other people. If you don't these locations can't be reclaimed to your team." With his index finger he swiped the surface of the phone.
"So if you both can get it, that would be awesome! We can defend our garden together."
    What does he mean by garden?
"Garden?" I asked
"Yeah, because we come here to replenish and refresh ourselves. A haven and safe place. Kinda like a African watering hole. The animals come to share the rare resource. A unspoken peace during the time used there. So the predators don't attack, and prey are not afraid." Aaron explained excited. "Don't you come because you want to feel like you have substance?"
    I didn't understand what he meant.
"Can you explain better?"
    He seemed unsure now. Like he brought up a topic that he now regretted mentioning. Hesitant and substantially lower speech volume.
"That's why you were so about pleasing those females the first time we met. Your desire is to feel needed. And to give your love and affection to someone."
   There was a fire in my stomach. A wave of aggression rippled across my body. He doesn't know me! How can he just assume all this without any background knowledge. Like he knows me better than I know myself.
"What about you Aaron?" I spoke hinting my now existing agitation.
"S-E-C-R-E-T" Aaron spelled out to me.
I turned my attention back to Alexander. He was looking at me with a weird look. But once our eyes met he immediately turned his head back down. I smiled knowing that more than likely I was the cause of Alexander's actions. Reserved and flustered, I wonder what he's thinking? Maybe our kiss, or perhaps he's waiting anxiously for my next move. A warm feeling tingled under my skin and in my belly. I think it is known as

Relief...
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Chirp!
That was my phone getting a text. I dug into my pocket to investigate. Pulling out a silver grey smart phone. I slide the screen open with my cold numb finger.
Josh- How about tonight?
I started to reply.
Theodore- Not tonight.
It showed he was online. The bubble showing he was typing.
Josh- It's been a week now. How long you gonna ditch us? We miss you being here.
Theodore- I don't feel like being there. I'm not interested in trying to get in some random girls pants.
There was a pause.

Josh- Did you find someone?
To be honest, I wasn't sure myself. Even if Alexander isn't receptive of my affection. I don't mind. We can always play it off as a joke. Being with them feels good. Relaxing and peaceful, a garden...

Don't resist me

Theodore- I did, no longer do I need to look.
Then turned off my phone.
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The stagnant air raked at my nostrils. A sneeze teasing my nose. Oh my god this is the worst! I sat in my rolling desk chair. Trying to get work done. Laying back into the chair. I gazed about at all the sketches and architecture prints hiding the wall itself.
Spinning it around back and forth with my foot kicking the ground. It's so hard to focus today. And it's only 3 dammit!
A hollowed feeling of longing clutching my chest. Like a breathlessness. I need purpose. Everyday I count the seconds till it's time to meet them. So pathetic. And yet more fears swirl inside my mind and throat. What will I do when they decide they no longer want to be there? Somehow I need to secure a tighter relationship with both of them. I'm at their mercy basically.

I need to be the one in control

Chirp!
My phone buzzed on the counter. Checking the screen's text.
Alexander- We will be a bit late tonight. Aaron got held up by coworkers.
Theodore- K
Looking back at the sheet I was working on. Inspiration struck me. Grabbing my pencil I sketched rapidly. Drawing beams of wood, panes of glass. My hand turning my ideas into pictures. Lead coating my palm. Finally I blew off the debris and held the paper up to get prospective. Rather pleased with my genius as is the usual.
"Yes" sighing sharply.
"I will call it.."