Choices

Chapter 12 - Mistakes

His lips are soft and warm as they intertwine with mine. I know I should pull away but we are too into it now.

His hands fall from my face to around my waist and slip underneath my shirt. I pull away.

"I can't do this. I have a boyfriend."

"A gay boyfriend...." James mumbles

"He might not be gay, you never know. He might be telling the truth."

"Might. That's not 100% is it?"

"Why are you arguing about how my boyfriend might be gay?"

"I care about you. I don't want to see you get hurt." He replies. "That's why I kissed you. I would never hurt you Tara. Not like Jace will."

"What do you mean 'not like Jace will'? Do you know certainly that he is gay?"

James turns away. He's thinking, I know. It's his posture, his shoulders always turn in.

He takes a deep breath before turning around to face me.

"I saw him. With Shane."

James never lies.

Back in kindergarten, I had lost my red toy car in the sandpit. I was so sad that I lost it I wouldn't stop crying until James gave it to me. He had it the whole time and was going to take it for his own. He said he found it lying in the sandpit and took it but when he found out it was mine felt super guilty. He could stand me crying so he gave it back. We immediately became friends and he promised to never keep anything from me. Never to lie to me.

So hearing James say that he saw Jace and Shane together tore me to shreds. My heart was shattered, and was beating faster than ever. My palms got sweaty and breathing got heavy. I could feel the tears coming and didn't feel afraid to hold back. I burst out crying and crying. James held me in his arms until my crying has turned to whimpering and sniffling. He held my shoulders and moved my head to face him.

"I hate to see you like this. I thought Jace would have told you, he is a great guy. I never though he would lie to you like that."

"I'm sorry you had to see me like this. I'm so glad you are here right now otherwise I would've crumpled into a big ball of mush and died. Literally."

He laughs and I laugh too.

"You should get home." I say

"We should get ready for bed. I want to stay here." He says

"Okay."

He hops into the bathroom first, then comes out and I enter.

I change into my pjs and slip into bed. James grabs some blankets from the cupboard and sits on my massive chair. He falls asleep so quickly.

I am up for way to long, thinking about everything.

"Goodnight, James." I say

"Love you too, Tara. Goodnight." He replies. And I know he really means it.