Broken Branches (Bleed Me Dry/Drown Me In Sequel)

Roots

"Don't throw stones at me, don't tell anybody. All the noise of this has made me lose my belief." Roots, Imagine Dragons.

MJ

My alarm is set to go off in five minutes but I've been awake for hours. This is my last year of high school and it starts in exactly an hour and a half. Most high school seniors get up out of bed excited to rule the school because after three long years they are finally on top. Unfortunately, I don't have the pleasure of being one of those girls. I have never been close enough to the top for me to ever get there.

One more year MJ, One more year. I anxiously await the day I can move away from Jersey. Out of Wall and as far from the beach as possible. I have my heart set on Notre Dame where it's cold and I won't know a soul. My mom grew up in Ohio which is not that far from Indiana. Maybe if I move there I can find some the family my mom never talks about. Maybe then I can have something to hold on to.

I walk downstairs to eat breakfast. Even though my mom doesn't have to be up since I drive myself to school and she doesn't have to be at work til later, she still gets up everyday to see me leave for school. It's not like I'm going to not show up to school, she should know by now that's not in my nature. My grades are everything to me. My mom wants me to be a model student, and that's exactly what's she's got. She never could make it to college and she wants me to overcome her by getting into one of the best ones. The only problem is she wants me to go to Wake Forest. I don't know what it is about that damn school she loves.

"Are you ready to senior. Big girl on campus now!" my mom says way too enthusiastically. She knows I only have one friend. Just like my namesake Millie, my mom's dead best friend that she constantly preaches to me about, I'm only living half a life. But I'm going to change that when I get to college.

"Not particularly," I tell her. "I'm just ready for this to be over."

"I know you are honey." she says while hugging me. "I just want to savor my last year with my girl. Then it will just be me and Aunt Andie and you know that won't go well."

I giggle a little. Aunt Andie isn't my real aunt but she's the closest thing I have to it. She's the only person from my childhood that I can remember having around all the time besides my mom. She lives with us every so often when her latest lover doesn't work out. Andie and my mom lean on each other, they always have since Millie died days after I was born. I never knew this "Millie" but they always talk about her like she was a god. Anyone who forced me to have the name Mildred can't be that great. I have letters from her that she wrote to me before she died but they creep me out, I feel her presence around me all the time, I use it as an excuse for why I don't have as many friends as most 17 year olds.

I brush through my long blonde hair. People always tell me how beautiful I am and how I look like my mother but I know I have my father inside me. The man doesn't come around often but he sends the checks and that's what matters. But the real only thing that matters is that my looks have never been enough to dig me out of this hole my mother put me in. The popular kids don't notice me no matter how I look. Holland, never notices me more than a partner for class. I know if he saw beyond my brains he would see we are perfect for each other. But there's a reason dreams are dreams, because we dream them knowing they won't be reality. My father couldn't even love me enough to stick around, why would any boy ever do the same.

I kiss my mom goodbye and drive off in my car ready to get this day of self-absorbed wannabes thinking that senior year of high school defines everything that lies in our future. I arrive to school half an hour before the bell, sitting in my car until the very last second like I always do. I used to tell myself I just like being in my car but I know I only do it to avoid looking like a lonely loser from the inside. But it's time for me to face my music and put my family issues behind, but I still have that feeling on my shoulders, like someone is walking beside me, I should know better than to believe there's anyone there.