Broken Branches (Bleed Me Dry/Drown Me In Sequel)

Too Late

"Oh my God what have I done? Who have become, I've disappeared. Lies are my alibis, there's no turning back." I Know It's Too Late, Rebekah White.

Tanner

There's nothing I can do that can right my wrongs. As I stare at Gia I see that radiant blond I first meet when she was just 18 years old. It took me a year to work up the courage to be one of her one night stands. I thought I could change her, and when I really did I got scared and ran. I ran as fast as I could from her and that precious little girl. Gia gave me her all, she let me in, right where I longed to be and where I still long to be. But things were so difficult 17 years ago and they haven't gotten easier now. Gia may be 36 but all I see is the 19 year old I purposely knocked up so she would come back to me, in turn I created a life and I made that life feel so much pain. All of ever done is run from her and now she's running from me.

"Tanner, you need to leave. You can't do this to her again," Gia tells me.

"Gia, this time is different, I'm moving back to Wall and I'm here to stay," I reply.

"She's not 7 Tanner, she's 17. She's about to go to college and if you make her unhappy she'll never come back after she leaves. We don't need you."

"You need my money."

"I am not going to let you blackmail me into letting you into her life. She doesn't want to see you."

"Please Gia give me some time with her. She deserves it."

"Okay, not right now though. Andie's in here and if she sees you she's gonna kick your ass."

"Glad to know she hasn't changed, good night Gianna."

I lay in my bed at my hotel, thinking of how much I used to love Wall. I moved here just after law school because I had just landed a job at a law firm. I was born and raised in Edison but I had family in Wall so the move wasn't difficult. I ate at Wrigley's often getting to know Millie as best as I could. She wasn't very interested in me but I did the best I could to sway her. It never really worked. I lived in Wall for about a year before I met Gia, she was so beautiful I could barely take my eyes off her. But Millie still had a place in my heart, she was the first young waitress I ever wanted to be with. She may have thought my heart turned to someone else when she turned me down but it never really did. Gia never knew about my crush on Millie, if she did it would break her heart. She thinks I left town because I wasn't ready to have a family, the truth is I was mourning the death of the other woman I loved and I could bare to love anyone else at the time, even a little girl that I had wanted all my life.

This doesn't really justify the abandonment of my child. Especially since I knew Gia has abandonment issues herself. I'm stupid thinking she would ever trust me again. But when I saw MJ today for the first time since she was about 10, I could feel myself inside her. I could feel the pain I've caused her. If I get anything accomplished with her, it would be to help her understand. Understand that there's more to me than just her loser of a father, there's a loving man inside of me. There's also a bad man in me, the same demons probably live in her head too, if I can connect to them maybe she'll forgive me.

I close my eyes letting the night take me over. I may have loved Millie but I have finally accepted her death. I'm ready to fix myself, it took almost 18 years but I will do this, for my daughter, and for her hard working mother that I've forced to carry all my burdens.