The picture has nothing to do with anything. I just like it. Also, the thing I actually wanted to mention was that I use google translate for all the y'know, translations. I honestly don't know if there's a mistake. Spagna is Spain in Italian, btw.
Today sucked. I have a small child in my house now, and I don't know what to do.
I was walking home from the tomato fields today (that bastard tomato face smiling idiot was accompanying me) and I noticed that the doors of the house were wide open. Obviously idiot smiley face had to comment on that.
Tomato face- Whoa, Romano, did you notice that your house is completely open?
Me- *dryer than death* No. No I did not. Thank you for oh so helpfully pointing that out, Spain.
Tomato face- No problem, Roma-
Me- Don't call me that.
Tomato face- I'll check out the house, and see if robbers are inside. You can wait out here, I'm supposed to take care of you cos I'M THE BOSS~!
He seemed like he was having too much fun when he ran into the house. I was kinda waiting by the front door, watching the traffic go by and hoping no one hurt fratello. Not because I really care about him or anything, it's just that I'd have to do more work if he was dead.
A few minutes later, Spagna came out of the house with a weird expression. He kinda looked at me funnily and said "There's a small child in your house."
I obviously went inside to investigate, and I saw a small child on the sofa in the living room. He looked like fratello, but blonde. And his curl was on the wrong side. He sorta looked like a mini blonde me, but he had really blue eyes. The only way he didn't look like me and fratello was with his overly serious expression.. One that I've only known one other idiot to have...
Child- Hallo.
Me and Tomato Face- ...
Child- Um. Parli Inglese? Tedesco? Italiano?
Me- Um. Italian. But you can speak in English here.. Not everyone speaks Italian.
Spain- DO YOU KNOW THIS CHILD, ROMA?
Me- No. But calm yourself, he's only a child.
Tomato face- Sorry.. I get a little nervous around children after y'know.. You.
Me- Ok bambino, what's your name?
Child- Vati told me not to speak with strangers.
Spanish tomato face- "Vati"? Are you German?
Child- You're a stranger.
Spain- Ah, sorry~! I'm Spain! Espania! The boss of *pokes me* this one!
Me- Don't touch me. I'm Romano, or South Italy.
Spain- WE BOTH LIKE TOMATOES!
Me- *punches Spain* Shut it. Ok bambino, what's your name? We're no longer strangers...
Child- My name..? My name is... Berlin.
Me- Berlin? Sounds like I should know that from someplace. What are you doing in my house?
Berlin- It's my house too. You said you're South Italy right? That makes you my... Zio!
Me- Wut.
Spain- *facepalms* IS IT NOT OBVIOUS ROMA? It's as obvious as Portugal wanting to punch me whenever I mention waffles..
Fratello- *presumably done with a shower because his hair was all wet* Ciao!
Me- There's a small bambino in our house, and he says it's his. Call the police?
Fratello- He's not the mafia, fratello. HE'S MY SON I GUESS~!
Me- Double wut.
Fratello- He showed up on my doorstep. He's mine now! I called Germany, they look alike!
That's when I found out why the child's expression looked familiar. Anyway, the potato muncher came over, and we all sat down for a pasta dinner. It had tomatoes, obviously, since both Spagna and I were present. I also found out why Berlin sounded familiar. The conversation was weird.
Berlin- Hallo vati! I'm Berlin!
Potato face- *spits out pasta* Wut.
Veneziano- It's true Germanyyyy! Remember a while ago that guy with long black hair who sorta sounded like Japan said I was pregnant? Well, I wasn't!
Potato face- ...
Spagna- Cool! Can I be his godfather?
I didn't really catch what Veneziano said, but it sounded like he said, "You can be his uncle after you two get married"
I AM NOT MARRYING SPAIN. EVER. NOT EVEN IF YOU PAID ME AND GOT RID OF MY MAFIA.
The potato muncher called the annoying potato muncher, then NOT EVEN 15 MINUTES LATER there was a knock on the door. I got up to answer it, but by that point Prussia had let himself in, screaming "THE LORD OF AWESOME HAS ARRIVED! WHAT HAVE YOU SUMMONED ME FOR?"
The potato muncher pointed towards Berlin, and Prussia was like "Don't I know you from somewhere?"
It turns out he didn't.
Prussia quizzed the child to see if it was actually Berlin, and when he answered questions like, "What are bruder's dogs' names? When did the wall come down? What's my favorite food?" correctly he declared the small child the personification of Berlin.
Everyone's downstairs right now, maybe I'll join them soon. They're playing Just Dance 4 or something like that. I dunno, it's some game thing that the burger bastard gave to me. He can be nice at times, but usually I want to hit him with a chair.
I think they're playing 'We no speak Americano'...
I'm not even gonna talk about their song choice, BUT I WANNA SEE SPAIN AND GERMANY HAVE A DANCE BATTLE SO BYE~
-the cooler Italy brother
YOU ARE READING
Hetalian Diaries
FanfictionPrussia needs to know what everyone's up to at all times. At the world meetings, he miiiiight sneak a peak at their diaries.
