Sparkles

Vacuum Cleaner

Sparkles! Next time you're bleeding to death don't do it on the carpet, also I found your glitter stash. No more glitter confetti.

But. But, Annoyyyyyinggggg.

Don't you go 'but annoying'ing me. Go grab the vacuum cleaner.

About that...

What did you not tell me?

IT WASN'T MY FAULT!!! The company should have tested their equipment to make sure it's battle proof.
*Sparkles runs away*

Battle proof!?!

*No response*

    Sparkles wandered threw the deep lush jungle. He wasn't ready to go home, he was never ready to go home. His roommate, a human named Annoying had been annoyed at the mess he left. Then to top it off he had broke the vacuum a few months ago by practicing his battle skills on it.

     An apiom screeched at his presence. Before Sparkles got far he was surrounded by a large assorted group of primate Pokémon. Including, a Primeape, an Ambipom, a Slaking, a Infernape, a Simisage, a Simipour, a Simisear, and a Darmanitan.

    "Yo punk what are you doing here?" Simisear sneered.

     "I'm just wandering around contemplating life." Sparkles attempted to avoid a fight.

"Go do it somewhere else. We don't like your kind around here." Slaking warned.

"What's so bad about my kind?" Sparkles asked, wondering what did monkeys have against Roserades.

"Adventurers. They always try to steal the vacuum of legend. It's a real pain." Primeape explained.

"Vacuum of legend? What's so legendary about it?" Sparkles asked out of curiosity.

"For starters it was made by Giratima, the legendary of antimatter. It's impossible to break, and..." Primeape was tackled by Infernape.

"Shut up Anger! You can't just trust any yayhoo off the street with that information." The Infernape scolded the Primeape.

"That's ok. I wasn't planning on stealing any legendary objects."

"Good now go on your way. If we see you again we will (censored) you." Infernape told Sparkles.

"One last question. Why do monkeys have a legendary vacuum cleaner of all things?" Sparkles asked.

"It makes us superior to dog and cat Polémon." Infernape finished. Sparkles walked away. After a bit of wandering he found an ancient stone pyramid. Unknowns were inscribed on the worn stone surface. Spelling out messages of doom to trespassers. Squared images of Giratina battling Arceus clothed a flat portion of the wall. Moss had nearly entirely covered the pyramid and vines thicker than a tangrowth's coated the surrounding trees.

"Rosarade! Rosarade! Rosarade!" A Chatot mocked Sparkle's gasp of amazement. Chatots as a species long ago wished to be able to speak any language. They got their wish, but no one can understand them.

"I wish I could read this." Sparkles muttered. "Hey Chattot find someone who can tell me what this is. Avoid monkeys please."

"Rosarade." The Chatot flew off. Not knowing if it was going to cooperate or not, Sparkles went in to investigate. It was dark inside Sparkles couldn't see a thing. An early Noibat flew out the entrance.

"Watch it Rosarade!" He growled loudly.

"Sorry can you please tell me where I am?"

"My house. The dang monkeys come in to worship a vacuum cleaner of all things. Hey, if you get rid of that vacuum I'll reward you. Money, food? What drives you?"

"Adventure! Hey can I keep the vacuum? I'm in a spot of trouble with my friend, a new vacuum might help smooth things over."

"If that's all you want heck ya. Take it I never want to see it again. Beware of the booby traps." Noibat flew off.

"Booby traps!" Sparkles gasped but the Noibat had flown away already. "It's super dark.." he whined to no one. It was dark, just a few feet in no natural light existed. Sparkles lit a torch, well his hand worked as one anyways. Then silently went down the hall, well at least as quietly someone looking for a fire extinguisher could.

It was an amusing sight for all the awakened Noibat. A screaming flaming Rosarade falling down stairs. Into the occasional pit of serviper. Somehow not getting impaled by giant spikes shooting up from the ground. Sparkles finally made it to the final Chamber. A strategically placed sky light illuminated a raised pedestal made of gold.

Sparkles climbed up the gold stairs shaking with anticipation. He wondered what a legendary vacuum would look like. Would it have a brand name? Would it be made of solid gold? Would it be a black swirling mass like its creator? Would it look just like any other vacuum cleaner? Sparkles was amazed at what he saw. Glitter, lots of glitter. Dirt, paper scraps, pet hair, a few juice stains. The vacuum appeared to be made of the very things it sucked up.

"Eww. That's disgusting." Sparkles said as he walked up to it. He lifted the vacuum, no traps. He started walking out of the temple.

"Hey, it's that Roserade again! He has the vacuum of legend! Get him!" An oranguru shouted. Sparkles ran he remembered the threat from earlier and ran for his life. Vines sacked his face, roots seemingly lifted them selves to trip him. Creeks dashed across his path and nearby fire types were training, sending the stray flame to incinerate him.

Sparkles screamed his flowery man screams all the way home. He got in and locked the door.

Hi Sparkles what's up?

Evil monkeys. Legendary vacuums, and ancient ruins.

Ugg. Look at that mess you brought in throw it out I don't want to see it.

Annoying, you don't understand I risked my life to get this.

What idiot would risk their life for a hunk of garbage?

No no. It's the legendary vacuum I stole it from a tribe of monkeys deep in the jungle.

I don't believe your stupid excuses.
*tosses vacuum of legends outside*

Nooooooooo!!!