Midnight Thoughts

Rest in peace LONG LOST FEELINGS!

I knew this day would come.

I really knew this day had come.

Eventually, it goes like this...

It happened NOW...

In a way that I didn't take control it.

In a way that I didn't took a shield to it.

Things really take its place.

Somewhat like it always happens for a reason.

Something that God sent this day with a purpose.

To make me things realize that "I CAN'T UNDO WHATS IN THE PAST"

TO ACCEPT WHAT I CANNOT CHANGE.

TO LET THINGS GO WITH THE FLOW.

TO GET HEAL WITH THE SCARS THAT BRUISED.

TO LET THE TIME HEALS ALL THE WOUNDS.

To ponder me a thoughts that "I SHOULD TREASURE WHATS NOW IN MY PRESENT"

TO LOVE SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME NOW.

TO MAKE THAT SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME HAPPY.

TO ENJOY SOMEONE'S COMPANY.

TO LIVE, LOVE AND LAUGH THE LIFE I HAVE.

Actually, this kind of day (11/8/16) is what I really wanted.

The day I've been waiting for so long.

I thanked you for this day has come.

For I always waited this day to come.

To slapped me with the truth,

In order for me, TO LET GO WHAT WAS.

FOR THE ALMOST WE NEVER HAD.

FOR THE FEELINGS THAT ALWAYS KEEP HAUNTING ME.

FOR KEEPING ME COMPANY AT LATE NIGHT.

FOR THE LATE HOUR SLEEPS YOU TOOK FOR ME.

FOR THE LATE NIGHT CONVERSATIONS WE HAD.

FOR THE JOY THAT YOU MADE ME FEEL.

FOR THE DREAM THAT YOU'D NEVER BECOME A REALITY.

FOR THE AFFECTION, I REJECTED THE MOST.

FOR THE INSENSITIVITY, I CAUSED YOU SUCH PAIN.

I'M REALLY SORRY FOR WHAT I'VE DONE.

CAUSE THE DAMAGE IS ALREADY BEEN DONE.

And now, I'M HAPPY FOR YOU.

That you'd already finally found someone.

Thank you for letting me knows it.

I knew that you're capable of being in that status.

That you've finally meet someone deserves your love.

I'm happy for you. (Smiley Face)

I'm really happy for you. (Smiley Face)

Yes, I'm happy for you though I'm a bit in hurt.

Yes, I'm hurting. But it's okay.

And I don't know why I feel this way.

The thing is I felt an ache in my left chest.

It suffocates me. I want to cry it out.

I can't control to it. It's just that I hid the pain in my heart.

And no one's ever knows about it.

It's me. It's always been me who only knows about it.

Is this what I've been waiting for, right?

For me to know that you'd found the one.

Then what the hell am I crying for?

Did I really cry for you? Oh Shit!

IT'S SO LAME TO CRY OVER SOMEONE YOU NEVER BEEN HAVE.

It's crazy to think that I'd cry for you. That's gross! Ugh!

No! It's not like that. It's not what I meant for to cry.

It is just that I'M HAPPY FOR YOU BUT I'M IN A BIT HURT.

What I did was something just to ease my pain.

What I did was I did cry it for myself.

What I did was the truth, which I meant to cry it for you.

After the tear has fallen, my heavy heart lightens up.

And now that you have her,

PLEASE "SEND MY LOVE, TO YOUR NEW LOVER"

(Actually, it's Adele Song one of my favorite.)

I know you will treat her better. Or even love her much better.

I'm confidently at peace now.

At least, I'll be seeing you with someone else arms.

Someone who'd makes you happy.

Not just in my dreams but in the reality.

Hoping that OUR ALMOST won't haunts me now.

I can bury my feelings now.

In this 3 A.M. thought, in my piece I can bury it all now.

Just like what they already did to Marcos.

They buried his corps at the "LIBINGAN NG MGA BAYANI"

And as for me, I'll bury you to "LIBINGAN NG MGA FEELINGS".

In the name with the pen and this paper with all the feelings and guilt.

Please don't haunt me anymore.

May REST IN PEACE MY LONG LOST FEELINGS for you. Amen.

LOVE,

Janna Lorena

3:43 A.M.

11/9/16