You're my One and Only

Chapter II

                                                                                  Chapter II

                                                                                       **

My mind is fuzzy, the last remnants of a dream being chased away by the realization that I am awake again. It was a nice dream, something about sitting in a big oak tree in a meadow full of flowers, with Neil, Noel and him. We were happy but the details are fading fast even as I try to recall them. With a mental sigh, I allow my brain to focus and cautiously open one eye. The bright spring sunlight cuts the room in half, I pull the duvet up over my head to keep it out, it’s not going to work, my brain is awake now and already worrying about my boys and meeting his parents.

“Noel get back here!” my dad falls on his knee right in front of my door just as I open the door.

He look up at me and I look down at him, he sigh with disappointment and hand me Noel’s blue pants. I hear mom laughed at the corner, I turn and found Neil all dressed up. Just as I about to step out from my room, a tiny bumped on my leg and when I look down, Noel wrapped his arm around my right leg, not wanting to let me go, laughing at his breathless grandpa. I bend down, lift him up and rub our nose, making him giggle. Our daily routine.

As soon as Neil saw I did this to Noel, he began to escape from my mom’s arm and ran to me, asking me to lift him up. I squat down and hugged both of my prince, giving them a kissed, making them giggled while my mom and my dad watch us. I blushed when I realize they were watching us.

“Noel, be a good boy and let grandpa dress you up please.” I asked him nicely but firmly. Noel nod and walked to my dad, ready to get dressed. Neil was wearing green polo tshirt that I bought him last week in New York, short pants and a converse shoe. Noel is going to wear the same shirt but his is blue.

“We’ll be downstairs having breakfast, Maura and Bob will be waiting for you. Go and get ready.” My mom said, giving me a pat on my shoulder. I nod and get myself freshen up. There was no way for me to escape this, Maura and Bob are their grandparents too and they deserve to see them. I shouldn’t be selfish, not after what they’ve done for me. Keeping this a secret from him.

I’m sure it was hard for them to keep this away from him. But they know why I did this, why I keep this away from him. It will ruin his reputation, his career and his future. It’s for his own good. There was not a day passed without me thinking, ‘what would it be like if he knew, would we be a happy family? Raising the boys happily together? Does he miss me? Is he thinking about me?’ Not a day gone pass without me thinking and praying for him.

                                                                                        ***

“Neave, thank you. Thank you so much for coming!” Bob gave me a hugged as he open the door.

“No problem Bob, you two deserve to see them. After all, they are your grandchild as well.” I said with a smile. “I hope you don’t mind, my mom tag along.” I said again.

Bob shook his hand and shook hand with my mom. Bob pointed at Noel who is in my arm, asking me if he could carry him. I turn to Noel who was looking at me, his eyes asking me ‘mommy, who is he?’. I smile and kissed Noel’s on the forehead, I was reluctant to give him to Bob but I did.

“This is Noel. Noel say hi to grandpa Bob.” I said. Noel look at me, his eyes met mine, asking me again, who is he? Why am I giving him to this man? “Noel, he’s not going to eat you.” I said and Noel slowly turn his head to Bob, his small hand landed on Bob’s cheek, making Bob smile widely. Slowly Noel smile at him.

“This is Neil” I said taking Neil from my mom. “Neil as is N-E-I-L” I spelled out. Bob turn to me and I smile at him, he smile back at me and nod. He thanked me, I didn’t have to ask why he thanked me.

“Where’s Maura?” my mom ask as we enter the living room.

“Here I am and I have apple pie for my two lovely grandchild!” Maura came out from the kitchen, surprising the boys and made them run to my arm. I laughed as their eyes widen, looking up to Maura. Bob and mom laughed as well, Maura blushed and I told her to slowly approach the boys.

It didn’t took Maura long to make friends with the boys, and they definitely love Maura’s apple pie. Maura was happy as she was spending more time with the boys, rather than talking to me, mom and Bob. She keep thanking me for no reason. Bob asked why hasn’t the boys talked yet. “They are developing quite slow said the doctor. There are probability they won’t start talking till they are 4 or 5 years old. But I hope they would start talking soon.”

“They are quite quiet aren’t them?” Maura said. I laughed and she look up at me.

“Well yeah when there are other people around but when it’s just the 3 of us, they are very loud.” I said. Maura, Bob and mom nod as I explain to them.

We spend the whole afternoon there, giving Maura and Bob more time together with the boys. Maura later on called me to the kitchen, wanting to talk to me alone. I sigh and join her in the kitchen while my mom stayed with the boys along with Bob.

“Maura..”

“I’m sorry but he needs to know about this. I can’t keep this up. Lying to my own son and secretly meeting them like this. They are my grandchild too. Are you planning to tell them that we’re their grandparents or what?” Maura asked,

There was anger in her tone even thou she tried not to show it to me. I sigh heavily and lean my back on the counter, arm crossed. Maura eyes slowly becomes wet and my heart sank, I’m hurt as well. I didn’t want it to turn out this way. If my dad hadn’t told them about me pregnant with his child. This wouldn’t happen.

“Maura, you know very well why I wanted to hid this away. I’m not doing this because I want to. I love him Maura, since the day he left till today. I love him. I love him and I want him to find his happiness. If he know all this, if he found out about Neil and Noel… he…” I paused, took a deep breath, trying not to shed a tear, I turn around, not facing Maura.

“It will ruin everything for him. And I don’t want him to be trapped by this. His life will be over if everyone knew about this.” I said and walked out from the kitchen. Noel and Neil ran to my arm as soon as they say tears stream down my cheek. I smile and squat down, allowing them to wipe the tears away. Their small hand on my cheek, it feel so nice and comforting. Their eyes telling me ‘don’t cry mommy.’

“Neave!” Maura came out from the kitchen.

“I’m sorry Maura but think about it. Please. For your own son sake.” I said and walked out the house with my boys and my mom.

As we got in the car, my mom turn to me, asking me if I’m alright.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Can you help me with something mom?” I ask.

My mom nod “Anything baby.”