Love Found

The Aftermath

           

3 Months Later

               Justin and I haven't spoken much since that day. We still lived together and slept in the same room and bed together when he was home, but we didn't speak. He knew what he did was wrong, but that was the end of our relationship. He had performed at the Grammy's and the BRIT Awards and I stayed home for both. Even though he wanted people to think that we were still together by keeping up our appearances we really weren't together and I wasn't going to lead people on. I had just walked into the kitchen to get some water and Justin was there with his manager and some friends.

"Hey Rachel." I nodded my head at them and continued to pour water into my cup. Justin had turned around and looked at me, but then turned away. I caught a glimpse of his eyes and they were sad. I was sad too, but my heart was broken. I went upstairs and got Jeremy out of his crib. Elizabeth and the twins were in preschool for the whole day, so I had my little one-year-old with me. Jeremey was awake when I got to his room and he was walking. I picked him up and took him downstairs where I put him down and let him walk around.

"Oh look who's awake." Justin was so proud of his little son. I watched Justin watch Jeremy walk towards him where Justin picked him up. He was proud of his kids and I loved him for that.

One Month Later

               Justin started tour today in Seattle. I kissed his cheek and wished him luck before he left. That was the last I spoke to him in the last month. He had opened up in Seattle and then went up to Vancouver, down to Portland, then Sacramento, San Jose, Oakland, and finally LA for two shows. For his LA shows he came home after each show and slept on his side of the bed. I missed his comfort in this huge bed. Now I didn't want to give him the wrong impression, but I just needed someone to comfort and hold me while I slept. I did a dumb thing and lifted Justin's arm while he slept and put my head on his chest over his heart and one arm was at my side while my other lay across his chest. He must have felt me slide in since I felt him move not used to me holding him while he slept. His one arm wrapped around my shoulders while his other was at his side. I just fell back asleep snuggling into him. Now this felt right. By morning though, he was gone. He was off to other cities and I was home with the kids. Elizabeth and the twins were in preschool and Jeremey was still too little, so he stayed home with me. Justin came home once and it was to perform at the IHeart Radio Awards where he sang love yourself and company. He then won an award with Diplo and Skrillex. He was wearing his NY Rangers jersey. I hated that jersey. I was from New Jersey and I wasn't a fan of the Rangers. Justin liked them and I allowed him to like them as long as I could like my team. Not even ten minutes later he won best male artist. Not knowing what to say he stumbled a bit, but finally got his words down. Did I miss him maybe I'm not sure.

That night again I snuggled under his arm while he slept. I wrapped my arms around his stomach with my head on his chest. I entangled my legs with his and heard him sigh in his sleep as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

"We can't keep doing this." I just evened my breathing and pretended to sleep.

"I know you're not sleeping." I snuggled into him. I just wanted some comfort is that really a bad thing? He groaned not even a minute later.

"Stop moving." I kept moving and he kept groaning.

"Keep it up and we'll have more problems than snuggling." I kept it up.

"Alright now you are going to get it." He flipped us so that I was on my back and he was hovering over me.

"Does this mean that you forgive me?"