Origami Girl

Chapter 41: Hanedanın Düşüşü I

Origami Girl

Chapter 41: Hanedanın Düşüşü I

"Throne of my lonely niche, my wealth, my love, my moonlight.

My most sincere friend, my confidant, my very existence, my Sultan, my one and only love.

The most beautiful among the beautiful..."

-Sultan Suleiman the Magnificent

The days only got colder and colder, and warmth seemed like a thing of dreams. The Siberian winds swept south, the breeze chilling anything it touched. The sun was in the sky, but it felt like it was not shining. Merely there, observing.

I met with Ayumi-chan as per normal. Sometimes Jarrett was with her, until he had to go their own separate ways. I tried to pretend like my hurt wasn't aching, and pretended everything was all right. I didn't want Ayumi-chan to suspect anything. Sometimes Jarrett and I would smile at each other, sometimes not at all. But we said not even a word to one another. It was too hard. It was easier to pretend that he was just another stranger.

She told me she went away because her grandfather passed away. She said she had been mentally preparing for it, but she still ended up taking it hard. I only told her how sorry I was that she had to go through something like that, but she told me that she was getting used to it. People die all the time, she said.

It made me feel slightly better at what I did. For deciding that I couldn't be with Jarrett. The guilt of it all would have killed me. I couldn't do something so cruel to someone who had only been kind to me. That just wasn't who I was.

"Did you tell Kashiwagi-kun about it?" I asked one day as we left our lecture theatre.

"Nah, I don't want him to worry about me," she said as she pushed her hair back. "Recently he seemed pretty down, so I just don't want to add to that."

I only kept silent. It was pretty obvious what led to him feeling that way. I was presented with a difficult choice, and no matter what I did, somebody was bound to be hurt. I just didn't want that person to be Ayumi-chan. I just didn't want to break and lose her just to chase our own selfish desires. It wasn't fair, but to be to be fair, nothing ever was.

It happened one day late in November, when the first snowflakes fell upon the city, and Ayumi-chan and I had just finished our classes. She was in a beautiful grey pea coat, with a red scarf wrapped snugly around her neck. I, on the other hand, was in my parka and ushanka Yukino-kun had given me from what seemed like ages ago. It felt nice being able to wear it again, keeping me warm from the biting Siberian cold.

"How was your French assignment the other day?" Ayumi-chan asked as we walked, her silky black hair flying in the gentle breeze. "You've got it back haven't you?"

"It went fine," I replied. "It wasn't really that hard, and I made the grade, so it's all fine."

"That's great," the young woman replied. "I'm sure you'll get by."

I paused for a moment before asking her what I had meant to ask her since the beginning of it all.

"How is Kashiwagi-kun doing?" I asked, trying to phrase my question as delicately as I could.

"Well," the young woman replied as we walked. "He seemed pretty down these few days, but he didn't really want to talk about it. I tried trying to talk things out with him, but he kept insisting that everything was fine. He took a few days off from work, but he just stayed at home and didn't really talk to me even when I come to visit. Something must have happened when I was away, but he wouldn't tell me. I'm just really concerned. Do you happen to know anything about this?"