Mute (Gerard Way/MCR)

Chapter 4

(Bass guitar is in the photo)

~1 month later~

-April 18 2006-

I know it's been a month and things are starting to get bad.My mom and dad are getting a divorce,Daniel moved out and I'm getting back into my bad habits.I mean I text Gerard and them a lot but it doesn't help.I'm starting to cut,drink and smoke again.I want to stop but I can't find a way to stop.

I walked downstairs into the kitchen then saw my mom and dad talking."What are we suppose to do about October?"My mother asked."I have no idea.She drinking and smoking again.''My dad said."I'm very worried about her.What if she starts doing cocanie again?"My mom asked him."Then we're putting her in rehab."He said firmly.I opened my eyes wide then ran back upstairs.I slammed my door shut.You people are probably like Oh my god she did cocanie! Yes,I did do cocanie but I couldn't help it.I stopped a year ago so I know I won't do it again.I don't want to end up in rehab,that's for sure.

I then heard my phone go off.I grabbed it to see that I had a text from Gerard.I smiled then quickly texted back.I put my phone on my nightstand then started to stare at my bass guitar.My mom was able to get for me when I turned 20.I grabbed then tuned it and started playing Here We Go Again by:Paramore.When Gerard texted me back I told him about this morning.When he texted me back I couldn't believe what he texted.

I can't believe that you used to do drugs!You're better than that!You're so beautiful and I love you so much please just try to stop.I don't think I would live with myself if I found out you died.

I texted him back with a smile.I can't believe he texted me that.I want to stop so I'm gonna try,but I probably won't.I then walked downstairs then walked into the kitchen with a smile.I grabbed a drink of tea then ran back upstairs and sat on my bed.I grabbed my bass with smile and started to play it again.I tried to hum but I couldn't even find my voice.I heard a knock on my door,I then got up and opened the door to see my mom."October,We're moving you into an aparment."She told me.I grabbed my notebook,"How the heck am I going to live on my own?" then showed her."We're able to pay for everything.So you don't have to worry about anything."She said with a smile.I nodded then she walked out and I closed my door.I grabbed a box then began to pack my clothes,CD's,movies,photos and clothes.

What the hell is happening with my life right now?There letting me live on my own right now when I'm drinking and smoking again also cutting.What if I did do cocanie again,I'm not so don't worry but what if I did?Would they care?Probably but I'm still confused.I shook that thought away then went into my bathroom.I looked at my refliction.

Black hair,Grass green eyes,Cherry blossom pink lips with a pale face.I'm a curvy person so I do get called fat sometimes but that doesn't get to me.I took a deep breath before I took a look at my wrists.There home to many scars but a least they tell my story.I walked out of bathroom with a frown.

I looked at my clock.11:00 pm.I switched into one of my real dad's t-shirt with some cloth shorts.I climb into my bed and began to think about tomorrow but the last thing I thought about was a shock to me.

I was starting to think about me and Gerard.