Serenity || An Otherkin's Journal

December 24th, 2016

Yes, here where I am, it's Christmas Eve :)

I have discovered something interesting about my personality in my past life. Well, kinda.

I tried to meditate today to get a glimpse of my past life, and heard that thinking of nice, natural sounds helps. I did, and I thought of a serene forest with birds chirping, water running in a trickling stream, and the gentle sound of the breeze whistling through trees.

It felt amazing. The place in my head felt familiar and like I had been there many times before. I believe in my past life I was a bit of an adventurer, and while I liked the comfort of my home, I loved nature and exploring it.

Which leads me to another thought... Could I have another theriotype? When I take nature walks I feel like I'm an animal, in another life, although it's been a while since I've been on one. I believe my second theriotype might be a wolf, fox, or even a deer or bird! For now, I'm sticking with my cat one. I'm new to this and I have the most strongest connection to cats out of all animals.

Oh yeah, and on a completely unrelated note, today was super hot. Like, an uncomfortable super hot. I hate hot weather, I always get headaches and overheat, no matter what clothes I'm wearing.

So... I have no idea what else to say, so off I go!

EDIT:

Okay, a lot happened. But I couldn't write it down yet because we had to go out and see some Christmas lights. Anyway...

I had two meditation sessions since I wrote that to uncover some memories of my past life. I have a bit of doubt in them, wondering if my brain made them up, but now I'm more sure. Because when I woke up from them, it felt strange being my human self again, I was so I merged in the visions.

The first one was a little strange and short. I was basically in a small, enclosed tunnel, more like a borrow. I was crouching in front of a small pile of kittens, about a week old, but I don't remember how many or what they looked like (except I vaguely remembered white fur). I was just crouching in front of the, staring out into the exit mouth of the tunnel/borrow. I wasn't protective or any int, just calm and like I was waiting for someone.

Then a cat came in, male, with long fur. I don't remember what he looked like either, but it's very possible he was a Himalayan cat too. He had a dead bird in his jaws, with grey feathers and a green stripe along its neck. It might've been a pigeon, except it was smaller.

Anyway, the male cat came in with the dead bird in his jaws and nuzzled me somewhat affectionately, before setting down the bird and turning to leave. I called him back, he glanced back at me once more, before leaving into the grassland I could just see through the entrance of the borrow/tunnel.

So yeah, I have absolutely no idea why I was in a tunnel. But that proves I'm female with kittens and a mate, who oddly seems to be sharing interest in his offspring (which is unusual behavior for male cats).

Second one! At first I saw the colour green in this one. Then when I 'walked further' into the... Memory? I don't know how to describe it, but I saw the exact same forest I saw when I was trying to meditate earlier. It was wonderful, and there was a fountain in the center.

A dog popped out behind the fountain. It appeared to be a red and white collie, and it bounded over and sniffed me. Then its owner came by with a leash in its hand, put the dog on the leash, and told the dog to leave me alone. I then walked away through a pathway and padded up to a human, female, watering some plants. I sat by her and she stroked me along the back.

The dog and their owner followed us too. I don't know why though. Were they friends?

So yeah, that was a little strange. I hope to expand on these memories more, as I have a few questions, more specifically about whether I was a house cat or a wild/stray cat.

Another thing! Before it was dark, and it was dusk instead, the sky was really pretty. And I went outside and it felt like... Home. The breeze was nice and cool, the lighting on the trees was dazzling, and the bird song was enchanting. There was a particularly green patch of grass, and as weird as it sounds, I had to fight the urge to jump down on the grass and pretend I'm hunting.

It's like I'm more active around dusk hours. After all, cats are actually more active around evening; the term for that is crepuscular (I love saying that word out loud lmao).

Another random note, I find that I'm more skittish, anxious, and uncomfortable when it's dark. Like, when I'm actually aware that I'm alone and vulnerable in the dark I get a bit nervous. Maybe something bad happened in my past life while I was in the dark.

Now I'm out for real now!