Serenity || An Otherkin's Journal

March 3, 2017

So, um, today was exhausting. I had to deal with a misinformed child. Eww.

Okay, so straight onto the therian stuff. I just meditated, and by 'just', I mean literally 2 minutes ago, or more, or less.

I got a memory from being a cat. It doesn't answer many inquiries I have, but it gave me a sense of where exactly I lived. So, I'm typing this to Satisfied from Hamilton (it's giving me motivation, I almost want to type in the lyrics lol).

So, basically, it started with me relaxing on the couch. I didn't look... pregnant. Why is that important? Because I have a few questions about my life as a cat. I'll talk about those a little later.

I was relaxing, and then I got up and left (as one does). I went into this garden at the back? Not even a garden. Just a patch of bright green grass. It was really sunny out there, and there was a fence around it. This may sound boring, but it's definitely worth noting. I jumped up on the fence, it was one of those jagged triangle ones. 

I glanced at the house next door and saw a fat black and white tuxedo cat with green eyes. Looked very similar to a certain cat I know... Maybe they're related? Perhaps. It's unlikely though. I don't even know what country I lived in! Well, if I was a grey wolf, I must've lived in North America or something. For white-tailed deer, probably around North America as well, or perhaps South America? (I do my research, don't worry)

Anyway, I began to walk along the fence, it went down a little lower and gradually became flat and easier to walk on, if that makes sense. There was a whole street ahead of me, a footpath and a wide road. I hopped down the fence and walked along the footpath.

Something "interesting" happened. Well, the event wasn't interesting, but... never mind.

I saw a mysterious tabby cat in the distance. It was a black tabby (brown w/ black stripes), and a mackerel tabby. The cat looked lost. It was standing by one of the houses, much further down the street. Was it a stray? Or a house cat? They didn't even look at me, they just glanced around and waved their tail around a little.

Why is this so interesting to me? Well, it's because I've seen them before. In an older meditation that I never spoke about on here because I forgot. I've seen that cat before. Same way: in the distance, did not look at me once, just looked around and waved its tail around.

It's probably nothing.

Right?

Anyway, I turned and went back home. Back to that... "garden", and nearby, guess what I saw? A very familiar place, a recurring one in my cat memories. It's hard to describe... It was that dark green forest, or park, full of life! The one with the fountain in the centre.

It was just a little way away, and there was a white gate nearby, slightly ajar. I slipped through and broke into a full on gallop, running freely through. It was pretty good, I passed the fountain and all, so it was definitely the same place.

Then the memory ended.

So, I thought that was interesting. But it didn't answer very many of my questions. But meditation isn't for that, it's for connecting with yourself.

Here are my questions, if you were curious. It's only two but I'm desperate to find out the answer tbh. But I'm going to take it slow.

- How did I die?

- Did I have kittens? What did they look like?

How will I die, hmm? Well, I have a few ideas.

It is always said that fears in your current life are linked to the cause of your death in a past life. I have a few fears, and could quite possibly be connected together! So here's a list of my fears and how they may be connected to a possible death cause as a cat. (This is literally a copy-paste from a conversation I had with a friend before lol, with some added things)

- Heights. I don't see how this can be linked to anything?

- Needles. Perhaps I was in such a bad, frail condition I had to be put down? They use needles for putting down animals most of the time.

- Old age/growing old. I may have been very old at the time of my death.

- Sickness. It would make a lot of sense if I find out I died from a sickness. Purebred cats are prone to disease more so than mixbreds, and my breed, the Ragdoll, along with the Siamese, has the lowest survival rate. Rip. I found out about Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy (HCM), which is a heart disease for cats. It's genetic, and I may have been heterozygous for the disease, since I have a feeling I lived for a long time. But then again, I don't know! This is just a theory. Wow, I sure went off on a tangent.

- Blood. Maybe some blood involved in a sickness? And HCM is a heart disease, and the heart does pump blood. Who knows?

- Pregnancy/childbirth. I could've had a complication and gotten sick as a result of that? Who knows.

Remember, these are just THEORIES. They may not be true.

And as for kittens, I think it's pretty likely I had a litter or two. I have a theory that I had two "mates", one with another Ragdoll for breeding purposes (my first memory was literally a male Ragdoll helping me out with a litter of pure white kittens, which is weird. I can't find of a better way to describe it. Oh, and all colourpoints are born pure white, and their points show up as they grow older. Why? Colourpoints are heat dependant. The darker areas are cooler and the lighter areas are warmer. Colourpoint kittens are pure white because of the warmth from their mother's womb. And yet again I went off on something completely off-topic because I can never stop talking about cat genetics oH MY GOD---).

Ahem... And the second one could've been the ginger and white male. Maybe we had kittens, who knows.

Once again, that's just a random theory. The same two questions apply for my other theriotypes too!

I have to go eat now, goodbye :) !!