Serenity || An Otherkin's Journal

December 25th, 2016

Ayyeeee Merry Christmas everyone! And for those who don't celebrate Christmas, happy holidays! (And please remember, if you don't celebrate Christmas, you're still valid and beautiful and I love you <3)

Also, just a reminder to my fellow therians to look after yourselves in this season! Try to meditate when you get the chance, relax, and please look after yourself physically and mentally. For my carnivores, please don't eat raw meat! It can make you seriously sick! Also please remember I am here for support, and you are valid and beautiful and I hope you have a brilliant day <3

Anyway, onto the juicy gossip- well, not really. So, today I had my first phantom shift! It was 12am and I was lying on my bed, until my tailbone felt heavy (sorry for tmi) and then I could feel a fluffy tail. I could move it around a little bit, thumping it on my bed, but that was it. And whenever I think about it, I feel the same feeling, but the phantom shift doesn't happen.

I got a cat sleeping mask for Christmas! It isn't a Himalayan, but it is very nice all the same and I will wear it for meditating (which I did just 10 minutes ago... But I'll get to that later).

I had a partial mental shift today in the morning but that was about it. I also hope to have a dream about my theriotype soon! I heard if you meditate before falling asleep it enhances your dreams and it can make your phantom shifts more vivid and real. I also heard you can buy dream crystals which can help, I'm gonna convince my mum to buy me a few of those dream crystals over the summer holidays (it's summer where I am).

Alright, onto my daily meditations. I'm going to try fit two in every day, and I've only had my one a little while ago, so I'll update this tomorrow about my second one because I plan on doing the meditation before I fall asleep tonight. I'll also try do one later, but I'm not sure. So if you see an edit you'll know ;)

My memory was weird, or interesting, well - it just left even more questions. So, in this one, there was a farm with a paddock that had yellow grass. There were cows, huge black and white ones. A female woman wearing a sun hat got out of a car with some bags, and I believe she may be my 'owner', except I don't even know if I'm a house cat or stray/wild cat yet

She greeted a smaller man, who I guessed was the farmer. They shook hands, and then that's when I came in from... I have no idea. I walked up to the closest cow and it mooed really loudly at me. I got frightened and jumped back, and then the woman picked me up and stroked my back (much to my discomfort). But then she put me back down again.

Then my free spirit kicked in. It was a wide, open paddock, so I stretched my legs and ran across it with the wind brushing my whiskers, my fur flapping in the breeze wildly. It was awesome, and I ran for a few moments before a magpie swooped in out of nowhere and crowed, "Caw!"

It spooked me a little, so I woke up from the meditation.

So yeah, it helped a little, but I'm still left with a ton of questions. Like:

- Was I a house cat, or a stray/wild cat? Was I even both?

- Who was my mate? How did I meet him? What did he look like?

- Who are my kittens, what do they look like, and how many did I have? Did I get the chance to see them growing up?

- Who is the woman I keep seeing in these visions?

- How did I get to the farm in the first place?

- How did I die and how old was I?

Speaking of that last question... I have a deathly fear of blood. It is my greatest fear, it fills me with nausea and it makes me terribly sick. It's the worst thing in the world, even saying the word makes my stomach twist and turn in disgust. I wonder if it has something to do with how I died?

Anyway, I'll try update this later, so stay tuned! Oh, and some good news: I got a new phone! So updates might be more abundant!

See ya'll!