LN's POV:
its just another horendous day for me.i'll never get used to the pain. i can probably numb myself from it but never- feel....... unstoppable. like no one can make me feel badly.
put it this way.
if someone slaps you. it hurts right? imagine that being done to you in a daily basis..... you probably think that "meh. i'll get used to it eventually" but you really won't. At the end of the day your still a person that has feelings and gets hurt weather its physically or mentaly. you'll still get hurt. but you will learn to dodge it o learn to fight back so you won't get hurt. EVENTUALLY.
as for me .... well i- prefer not to hurt anyone cause i know how hard it is to get hurt. i just hide the pain with a simple smile or a 'i'm fine' ...... nobody has ever bothered to take it a step further and ask me again or even check up on me again so i think its just the way tht its gotta be.
i will not solve my problems with brutality in any way. i'll show them. i'll show all of them that they were wrong about me.
i will be successful in life, they'll see......
FLASHBACK!!! [2 YEARS AGO]
i took the razor in my hands towards my wrist. i thought about all the things that have made my life miserable. i thought about the people that would love to see me lifeless. i would be doing all of them a favor.
nobody will have to deal with me. my parents wont have to bother about my studies anymore. all of them will be happy if i do this. i can't think of anyone that could possibly care if i killed myself right now. no one.
a tear fell from my left eye. they say if your firt tear falls on your left eye it means that your sad about the thing that our currently experiencing.
i quickly wiped the tear away.i've cryed too much for just 16 years of living. i wonder what i did that i have to go through this.
thats when i just swiped the razor across my arm. the last thing i saw was alot of blood. after that everything went black.i woke up with a beeping noise. there i was in the hospital bed. facing the ceiling.
i tried to kill myself...........i whispered to myself..
*END OF FLASH BACK
i couldn't bare any of this much longer.............
*a few days later
LN'S POV
today........ well , lets just say that today is my birthday. the most horrid day of every year for me.....
i know that mots people get what they want when its there birthday. as you might tell, my life hasn't been the best of it's category. maybe it's even the worst....
you see.... at my school. theres this tradition where you get an egg on your head if your the celebrant...... yeah were THAT weird. but unfortunately for me, they do EVERY bad thing that you can think of possible to me. they spit at me, kick me, punch me, cuss at me, embarass me, and once they even placed shit on me........... thats how i spend my birthday EVERY year. but i don't mind. there just doing to get a reaction from me. which i would never give even for a second. that made the bullying seemingly less painful.
i couldn't skip school....... my mother pays good money to put me in a good quality education school.... the only down side to it is if your the victim... in this case- me. they have state of the art facilities and all that stuff. so it is a very nie school. the bad side to it is the students here. they make my life like living hell.
but i guess i'll just ave to go with it and hope for the best....
*after school
i was currently walking home because i know the bus driver wouldn't let me in the bus of how gross i smelled..... yeah they did it again. they placed a shit bomb on my head and it poped on me... so i currently smell like a toxic spill. just as i was on the first step of our patio someone honked a horn at me which made me jump, and i swear i thouht ot was 10 feet up in the air.
