Stargaze Lovers (Romance novel)

Why did you kiss me? (*Mature content*)

I pull away. "We shouldn't be doing this..." I say as I feel guilt deep down at the knowledge that I'm making him cheat on someone whose waiting for him back home.

"I know, but please just for now. I need to get the image of that jerk all over you out of my head" he pleads with such sincerity that it breaks my heart. Maybe he never did stop loving me, or maybe that's what I want, but either way I lean forward to help him do just that. I pull his shirt and kiss him with such passion, knowing this one kiss will never make up for the six years we missed. I grab a fistful of his shirt and pull him towards me, to let him know I want the same; to forget that he's someone else's, that we never got our six years together and to just feel loved in that moment...

"Please" I beg, I don't know, what for: whether for him to stop kissing me or to kiss me back with such fervour so that I feel wanted, so that I feel loved and not so alone as I've felt all those years apart.

He grabs my hair. I pull on his. Our bodies are intertwined as he kisses me with such fervour that it ignites heat from deep within me. He commands me, demanding that I yield to him and I do; he pushes me against the wall as he bits my lower lip. I moan as I trail my hands down towards the V of his hip- over the top of his white tailor made white shirt. He groans and I feel something hard rubs against the inside of my thigh, making me even more turned on.

I know we shouldn't be doing this, a really good reason. But I can't think straight at this moment; I'm feeling all these confusing emotions, knowing that he still wants me and that I'm still desirable to him, but also knowing he wanted nothing to do with me this morning.

"Amy?!" someone says as they barge out of the fire exit. It's Alannah. Crap!

We untangle just before Al turns around and notices us, but it's evident from my flushed face and his disheveled hair what we were doing. I blush profusely, even though I'm an adult and I can do what I want, but also remembering now that Asher has someone, a girlfriend, maybe even a wife waiting at home for him.

"I'm here" I say a bit embarrassed as I try to break the awkward silence. Alannah looks from me to Asher and then back again, assessing the situation.

"I can come back later if you want?" She says, embarrassing me even further.

"No, no, I was coming back in anyways" I say quickly, making it quite evident that I'm lying. But if Alannah thought that as well, she didn't say it.

"Okay, I'll see you inside" she says as she goes back inside and leaves it open for me as well. The music blasts in my ear and it vaguely registers in my mind that the alarms are no longer going off. I turn back to Asher asking the one question I needed to ask..

"Why did you kiss me? What about the girl back home?" I ask arms crossed and I know he sees it for what it is: a defense mechanism, as he visibly softens towards me, probably remembering the multiple times I'd cross my arms right before one of Tania's bullying episodes.

"That was a mistake, it never should have happened" he says as he shakes his head and I no longer know whether he's trying to convince me or himself. Why can't he tell me the truth? Is it because of the girl he goes back home to? Or is it guilt he feels, for having cheated on her?

It still doesn't fail to hurt me that he'd call us being together a mistake, but what did I expect? That he'd be excited to see someone like me, that does nothing but remind him of his past. But our past was better off by having each other in it, wasn't it?