Do you still want me?

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I look at Asher. He looks at me.

'Why are you doing this? Did you move on? You we're the only that didn't give up on me, now even you don't want me' I accuse in my mind, hoping that if I look at him hard enough, that's he'll be the same Asher that I knew, the one that would wipe my tear, whisper sweet nothing in my ears and tell me how much he loved me, but all I see is a shadow of that figure that's stalked me into the future, taunting me with a past I can no longer have.

He stares back at me, a flicker of sadness and longing reflected in his eyes, but in the blink of the eye it's gone, leaving me to question my sanity. Had I wished for it so much that I imagined him longing for me?

I reach out my hand. He steps back. And my eyes well up with fresh teardrops.

"I've got to go, my fiancé's waiting for me" he says as he steps back, turns around and walks back inside the club. It feels more like he's walking out of my life.

"No." I whisper as I begin to feel my heart cave in. I drop to the ground. He doesn't want me.

"I'll find you.." I hear him whisper in my ear, a shadow of my past, a constant tormentor.

'Shut up!' I scream in my head. 'Why can't you move on, he has!' I'm angry at my own stupidity. It's been six years, who care about their childhood love after so many years have gone by! If he's moved on, so should I!

I roughly wipe away teardrops that's are running down my cheek, only to have them replaced by fresh teardrops of pain. My vision blurs. My heart collapses in on itself and I'm no longer confident about moving on. I don't think I ever can..I fear that I'll always be stuck here forever.

"Amy!" Someone gasps behind me, I knows it's Alannah. She comes round and sees my awful state; I'm embarrassed that she's having to see me like this, but I can't help it. Imagine if the only person that valued you, that cherished you beyond any treasure, threw you away to the side, replaced you and made it clear that he no longer wanted you.

"Oh my god Amy, what happened?!" Alannah says as she rushes in and gives me a hug. I cry on Alannah's shoulders for everything I had to go through, for the childhood we lived through, that I couldn't protect my sister, that not even the one person that accepted me wants me... I feel abandoned once again. She just hugs me.

"He do-doesn't want me.." I cry against her, knowing that only one broken soul can understand another. Knowing that the horrors I went through were not my own, they were divided between us, even if I got the worst end of the stick sometimes, she went through it too.

"It's okay..it's okay...I'm here for you" she consoles, knowing that people like us have the fear of being abandoned, of being alone and unwanted.

"I know.." I say as my tears dry up and I wipe my tear stained face. She understands well what I'm feeling, which would explain why she hadn't wanted to move out after turning 18 years old. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I only just got my sister back.

"Let's get out of here" she says as she helps me up and I'm grateful to have a little baby sis like her. 'That was one of the best things our childhood tormenter has ever done; she gave me a sister like Al' I think as we head towards the exist, towards the parking lot.

*****

"Urrgh!" My head keeps pounding, momentarily blocking the memories of last night.
After a while it comes rushing back, and my heart drops.

I look at my table clock: '8:15'. I guess my alarm did wake me, and here I thought elephants were running around in my room. It's probably just my hangover.

I roll over and peek beneath my eyelids. I need to get up, unlike some I've never had the novelty to 'take the day off' always having to provide for myself. Today was one of the days, that I wished this wasn't my life. I roll out of my bed disoriented for a bit but eventually stable enough to get ready for another gruelling day at work!

*After 46 minutes*

"Fuck I'm late" I say I continuously press the button on the elevator for the 8th floor. I had completely forgotten that our company CEO was going to come check on the progress today.

1st Floor. 2nd Floor. 3rd Floor. 4th Floor. 5th Floor. 6th Floor
7th Floor.....

8th Floor! Please don't let them notice I'm late! I beg the heaven as I walk stealthy into my office, seating myself.

"Phew!" I don't think anyone noticed...

"Amy!! Come here now!" My boss shouts. I jump out of my skin, dreading his lecture and warnings, especially since I hate being told off! Seriously! I drag myself to his office, I have to deal with this.

*Knock*

"May I come in Sir" I ask as I open the door a fraction, revealing branded Armani shoes. Mr Jones doesn't wear those types of shoes, he probably couldn't even afford that much...

"Sure..please do us the honour of coming in" my boss says patronisingly, I guess he's in one of his foul moods again. I roll my eyes as I push open the door and see him...

"Amy, meet Asher Wright the CEO of Goodman accountancy" he says with a huge smile, one he reserves for special clients, a promotion of an 'ideal friendly agency'.

Suddenly it all clicks; why I was accepted without the compulsory questionnaire and interview, why I was spared the long process, why my pay was two times more than my starting salary and why all the management gave me puzzled looks at the start. Everything made sense suddenly. His old surname was 'Goodman' and he's the owner of 'Goodman accountancy'.

I realise one more thing: that he's never stopped looking out for me...

What is it that Asher wants? Why is he at her office now? And why has he been looking out for Amy for the past 6 years if he's moved on? Find out in Stargaze Lover.

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