Flight Buddies **ON HOLD**

Chapter: 12

Chapter 12: Do you trust me?

My stomach dropped, feeling like it wasn't even part of my body any longer. My eyes were beginning to well up with tears I would probably end up cursing myself for letting loose. They were wide and frantic, flickering all over the interior of the plane. I couldn't help it when I involuntarily felt my body begin shaking. Sweat began to form at the nape of my neck and the corners of my vision began to get fuzzy.

The whole plane had gone dark. There was not an ounce of light and I could feel the beginnings of a possible panic attack beginning to form. Both of my hands were clenching onto the arm rests, my knuckles turning white. There was a ringing in my ears and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block it out. My breathings off paced and my body was beginning to tremor even more. I could hear my name being called but I didn't want to open my eyes for fear of just coming face to face with darkness.

"Fuck Lila, open your eyes!"

My eyes snapped open and I whipped my head to the side of me where Caleb was staring at me. From what I could see in the darkness, he looked concerned, which is not usual for him. I swallowed a breath and let out a shaky one. The plane dropped again and I let out a whimper and flinched. Caleb's eyes softened ever so slightly and his hand was suddenly on mine. I wanted to yank it away from him, but I didn't want to fully let go of the arm rest. But he then began to peel my fingers away from the armrest. I was still too much in a trance to stop him from doing what he was doing. When my hand was no longer clenching it, he quickly moved the armrest up so there was no longer anything dividing us. I watched as his hand inched forward, about to grab onto mine and I instinctually pulled my hand away so he couldn't grab a hold of it.

Growing up, I never had anyone there for me when I went through my every once in a while panic attack. I had friends, sure, but they didn't know of my fear. Even my best friend at the time didn't know how bad my fear was. She knew of my fear, but she didn't know I panicked this badly. I always had to calm myself down. I kept people an arms length away from me and so no one was there for me during times like this. I didn't want him holding my hand. I didn't want him to, dare I say it, comfort me. I didn't want him to see me this vulnerable because I try and come off as a strong person.

I didn't want to trust him.

His eyes furrowed slightly. My hand that he tried to grab onto was placed on my thigh, shaking. I tried to press it against my leg to control it, but that didn't stop the shaking in the slightest. Caleb scooted closer to me and slowly lifted his hand towards mine. He placed it over my hand, completely covering it. His hand was so much larger than mine, I couldn't even see my small hand. His hand cupped mine and when I tensed up and tried to pull away again, he swiftly interlaced our fingers together. My breathing halted and I didn't know what to do. My hand was still shaking and I felt him squeeze it tighter in his.

"I won't let go, okay?"

I couldn't even get myself to speak because it felt like there was a giant knot in my throat, blocking my voice from projecting. So, I just nodded. I nodded because I had no idea what else to do. Here is Caleb. Cocky, sometimes rude, yet sometimes caring Caleb, sitting next to me holding my hand and trying to help me through my most vulnerable state of mind. A tear slipped down my cheek and before I could brush it away, Caleb's thumb had already caught it.

"Don't cry, alright?"

For some odd reason, the fact that he didn't say it'll be alright, made me feel better than him saying everything would be ok and potentially lying. He wasn't telling me that everything was ok. He wasn't telling me that we would all be fine. He wasn't setting himself up for lies and that made me feel slightly better.