The Art of Science

#4. Deep water

"Doctor, have you ever experienced drowning? The moment where you go under the surface and water fills your ears, oh its so peaceful so quiet. Until, of course, you start to struggle. The moment your last bit of oxygen leaves your lungs. Your brain panics, adrenaline fills your body and you want to go to the surface again to breathe. Even if you do want to drown, you obey your brain and body and live." Her voice was hoarse and filled with pain. Not physical pain. The pain you hear when someone is about to cry, her voice was breaking as she spoke.
This was a suicide patient and Falkenrath felt her pain, knew what she feels. He looked at her pale figure her wet blonde hair sticking to her skin. She was given a warm towel to dry off with and new, clean clothes.

She turned to Falkenrath, now in her clean clothes, with tears rolling down her rosy cheeks.
"I look at my self in the mirror and hate my self, doctor. Everything, everything about me, everything I have ever done or said wrong!" She showed him the scars covering her arms, her cheeks now as wet as her hair, "I can't control it doctor...its like my brain is...is seducing me to do it... I used to be able to say no and control it but now its gotten to the point where I can't an..." Falkenrath placed his hand on her shoulder stopping her mid-sentence,
"I shall do my best to help, I understand how you feel." He smiled, the patient just nodded in agreement to his offer.

Patient name: Ann Fabian
A Polish woman, born in Germany in 1960 only 29 years old.

"She seems troubled doctor," a familiar soft voice stated breaking the silence in Falkenraths office, he looked up,
"Yes. I'll make sure she is looked after properly and she gets the right treatment." He replied, Paula, stepped forward further into his office,
"I...Is it possible to cure something like that? I mean, she seems to have gotten to the point where it'll be hard to get back. I've seen this before... and a lot of people couldn't do it..."
Falkenrath smiled slightly,
"Paula, do not lose hope, and never give up either. I've seen many people going through this and I've known many people go through it as well. I believe there is a cure and with the right help, I think anyone can go back, no matter how far they've wandered away. No matter how dark their world is."
Paula nodded silently in reply wandering out of the office. Falkenrath cancelled out the noise in the corridor and on the busy street and sat in his own silent world. Thinking.

He felt sorry for Ann, if she lives she'll be in pain unless she manages to cure it all, which even with medicine won't cure everything unless she gets drug-induced amnesia, however, that would either be a temporary thing or she would lose all her memories. Bad memories are remembered more than good memories so they could always flood back to her in the end.

No, no you can't put her under drug-induced amnesia. It would make it harder for her and even harder for her family. That's a definite no.

Her pain would've been ended if she managed to actually drown her self. However, that would've hurt her family and friends; who know what someone from her family or friends would've done if she died. For all, we know it could've turned into a cycle of suicides.

Falkenrath sighed leaning back in his recliner. He was positive that he was able to find a cure for something like this. But with what he knew now and what ideas he's had he couldn't do very much, he reached out to his book case and took out a book titled:
"The brain and how it works"
He obviously couldn't do this without help, he may have seen this before and he knew about it but finding a cure wasn't easy, not even for the worlds greatest scientists. Falkenrath is one of the smartest doctors in Mülheim, even in the whole of Germany. But he likes to keep his distance from award ceremonies and huge social events, he doesn't particularly care for awards anyway. From a young age he wanted to make a difference, his childhood had effected his career choice quite a lot in fact. But that's a different story.

Falkenrath read through the thick book twice. Staying the night in his office once again. Of course, he knew it wasn't the healthy option, to stay up all night and work, but he wasn't tired and he knew he wasn't going to sleep so he might as well do something to benefit his work.
There wasn't much he could do about his life, he didn't have much anyway and he didn't particularly like going back to his house and sitting there all alone, because it was packed with memories, memories which flooded back to him, good and bad. Memories that would put anyone in a flood of tears. And Falkenrath didn't want to endure his pain again. So he barely ever went back to his house.
People had noticed this but whenever they asked him why, he just shrugged it off and said he has work to do. He didn't want people feeling sorry for him, so he didn't bother telling anyone how he felt. He didn't want anyone to feel distraught about it and about him so he hid his pain behind his smile. Not a lot of people noticed. Because some people don't actually observe, and if people don't observe how others act or look, they won't know the truth, and some people can be good at hiding the truth. Ha even if someone hints at the truth, people don't notice. Sometimes people do but they just don't particularly care or bother to ask.

Which makes the truth hurt even more.

When no one cares.